March 16, 2012

Seaglass and Turmoil

I've been posting lots of great things that have been occupying my time recently. I've been having such fun enjoying my weekends, but as you may know if you're very close to me, I've had a lot on my mental/emotional plate for several months. I don't mean to exclude that process entirely from my blog, but I don't think writing explicitly about it is really the right or most helpful thing to do right now. I'm on an emotional rollercoaster, and things are usually 'fine,' but they are rarely wonderful and often downright disappointing. I can't see into the future regarding this particular issue...I've been taking it day by day. A good friend of mine asked recently if I have any hopes or wishes. I think I need to focus on desires as a way to make decisions and move steadily forward. Anyway, sometimes if I only have a short bit of free time, but I want to get outside and clear my head, I go looking for seaglass. I usually go to Asilomar, here:
I'll spend a few minutes or an hour sitting in the sand, mulling my thoughts and looking for tiny bits of color.
At home, I separate them into green, brown, and clear/white/blue in these small bottles on our windowsill. The seaglass feels like a metaphor for my tumbled and jumbled thoughts and feelings. Keeping them distilled and organized feels settled and quiet. Much less anxious and unwieldy. I don't really like drama in my life, and it has taken a while to accept that this part of my life simply IS dramatic, and that that's okay. I look forward to integrating all the pleasantness of my current life with a less dramatic period of my life. That sounds marvelous.

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