I expected to feel really strongly one way or another after my audition for the Bellydance Superstars, either excited, disappointed, or relieved. But when all was said and done, I just felt: calm, happy with my decision to go for it, at ease, very neutral, even keeled. I feel like that's all there is to say about it.
Except that people have been very curious as to the details of my experience, and so I will share.
I was never so nervous in my life the few days leading up to the audition. I knew I had lots to work on but really no time to work on it since I didn't want to screw myself over in school. Eventually I made some music decisions, but I never had a really good time to relaxedly practice my performance because I couldn't physically fit my performance in my room, and again, I had no time to go elsewhere because of school. But I made do, rehearsed it in my head and a couple times for friends, and drank cinnamon tea to combat the furious rumbles in my tummy.
I flew to Miami from Boston (5 hour delayed flight-ugg), went to the BDSS performance just as they were finishing up, to say hello to Sharon. She (and Kami, Ansuya, Bozenka, and Zoe) were mobbed by the crowd--wow. I patiently waited on the wall for people to clear out but they never did! The effect was twofold--I realized just how insanely popular the BDSS are, and at the same time, seeing Sharon put me at ease--she's just a person, like the rest of us, and that rested my nervousness.
Slept at Taylor and Danielle's in Coral Gables, got up before dawn to get dressed, made my way to the auditions, and smiled when I saw all the pretty dancers in their costumery. They auditioned us in 5 groups of 12 (60 of us!), starting with the 12 tribal ladies. Sharon taught us a short choreography, we improvised for a few counts, moved back line up to front and vice-versa for a total of about 10 minutes (similar situation for the cabaret ladies). Miles, Jillina, Sharon conferred, chose 10 of us to show our solos (5 tribal, 5 cabaret), and that was that.
I was one of the 10 chosen to perform my solo which made me very happy, and I felt like I was relaxed and did as well as I could have given the short prep time. The audience smiled throughout my peice which I took as a good sign. Sharon thanked me for coming all the way down and asked me about my music, Jillina thanked me for my resume/dvd, and when asked if he had any comments, Miles said that while my peice was very creative, he would have liked to see it smoother, that he would want what I did to seem either really difficult or else flawless (or both). What he said totally made sense to me--I knew going into this that I was not polished, and unfortunately, that was apparant. It's not a matter of what I am capable of, but what I have been capable of bringing to the audition that matters! How else do they know what I am capable of if I don't present them a finished peice? But like I said, I feel like I gave a good performance albeit not polished. No final decisions have been made, but some dancers might be called for May/June while others might be called upon for September or even next year. So while I haven't been given the axe (I made the "first cut"), I assume that the answer is "thanks for coming. Next?" and that's fine. There were a couple of dancers that blew me away; I really enjoyed watching the other solos. It was a great experience, the whole thing, and I'm really glad I did it.
And now back to studying...
PS-thank you thank you! I have had SO much support and loving energy sent my way, and I am evergrateful!
February 25, 2006
February 21, 2006
February 16, 2006
Last weekend I performed and collaborated with OmBellyCo, the troupe I coach, to perform a ritualistic calling of the "elements". We stood in a large circle and each did a 2-3min solo: BrieAnn as Air, Shakti as Fire, Cecile as Water, me as Earth. Then we went into the circle, to a basket from which our veils draped. We gathered our veils and out popped five year old Juliette, as Spirit. She blessed each of us with her magic wand and then sprinkled the audience with rose petals while we did a veil piece. The music was all original music by Shakti's man, Eric. What a wonderful thing to be asked to participate in.
February 14, 2006
I had a wonderfully encouraging conversation last night with a dear friend who reminded me that while sloppiness may come and go, I have built up my technique to be strong, and that stage presence and beauty are qualities that I always carry to my dance floor. From her, it is not only a great compliment, but something I can trust, and rest in. Thank you.
February 13, 2006
They all had to do with conspicuous dancers and me. In one, there was a conversation about teaching classes, in another, there was some subterranean exploration and drumming with rusty kitchen utensils, and in the third, I was separated by a glass wall from the rehearsal, so I made up my own exercise: anticipate the changes in the dance and either match the changes or do something complementary. It was awesome. And I remembered some of the combinations when I woke up.
February 6, 2006
Some people in my class were telling the sad things going on in our world (pollution, war, etc) and one of my classmates was really upset. I asked, "Sweetie, why do you let it get to you so much?" and then stirred my hot chocolate with my foot.