September 30, 2006
How to keep the bastards from grinding you down
Wish I knew.
I'm pretty good at being optimistic, but chronic financial issues, long distance relationships, school related stress, and sleep deprivation have this niggling ability to grind down the most optimistic of us, from the inside out (I tell you, my impetigo flares up way before I feel stressed). Sometimes I want to shut the door, ignore parents, try to ignore my friends and boyfriend, bills, hunger, tiredness, other responsibilities, and just STUDY to get school overwith faster. But it doesn't really work like that, and even thinking that makes me feel beaten down because it admits that I can't deal with it all. I remember the day before the first day of school talking to students ahead of me who said they dropped their boyfriends and other friends because (in a snooty voice) "who has time for that shit when you're in vet school?!". I vowed then and there that I would rather be miserable and human than bitchy, disdainful and callused.
Ground down, but trying to exist constructively as a mushy pile of positive goo,