Reassurance

I am reading a book my dad gave me called "Callings: Finding and Following an Authentic Life". It's one of those books that I find something fairly deep and probing on each page, making it a slow read (slower than my already slow reading abilities). But an appreciated read.

I finally hit upon a phrase that feels right for me regarding what I've been doing these past 10 months; "Licking my wounds".

I still feel pretty devastated and lost in my life. Having a definite goal (Physician Assistant school) helps, but I don't think I'll feel 100% about it/me until I'm in it. In the meantime, I'm just trucking along, trying to pay bills, trying to appreciate the love I have with Ben and my family, trying to put a little oomph in my dancing, and reminding myself to go easy on myself, daily. Getting overwhelmed and taken back out to the drowning sea of anxiety and depression is something that's never far away, so I try to keep it at bay by working, by reading books like Callings, by watching my hamster, by trying to ignore such feelings when they come uninvited, and only allowing myself to think about them when I choose to think about them (theoretically...).

Anyway. These sorts of affirmations calm me.

zebras.

we were told in vet school that if it looked and sounded like a horse, then treat it like a horse. But don't forget it could actually be a zebra. (the obvious ailments usually are. however, there are some strange ones not to forget about.)

Mecca Holiday Party

And what a party it was! Thanks, Farhad, for hosting it beautifully with excellent foods (oysters on the halfshell, no less!), fresh charcoal for the hookah, lip-smacking liqueurs, fun music, and a central location. Thanks to all my Mecca peeps that lift my spirits any day!

My Shadowdance Performance

Sorry, guys, I thought I'd put a link to my performance in my blog about San Francisco. But I didn't! It's on my website, here's a quick link to it if you care to see my cathartic 'dark' piece. CLICK HERE to see it.

Here are my Shadowdance program blurbs, you can choose the one that fits your reading timeframe:

Long Program Description:
Alyssum shares with you a dance piece inspired by the feelings of loss, struggle, and despair that she has experienced during the past few years. After having survived both physical and emotional devastation, she was surprised with the additional blow of being smacked with mental and financial devastation, leaving her with an empty but brand new beginning. With contortion representing the knot-like situations, this is an attempt to mourn the loss of a dream, and simultaneously move on/go with the flow of her life by opening her heart and mind to that which is around us all--the good along with the bad.

Short Program Description:
With contortion representing loss, struggle, and devastation, Alyssum explores despair and mourns the loss of a dream.

Thick Accents

Whoa. I just watched this video (about a woman who has never worked), and was struck much more by her thick Scottish accent than her non-working situation. I love accents! Please post links to videos of your favorite thick accents!