tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-103694072024-03-14T01:39:05.458-04:00You know, stuffBits of memory shrapnel. From my brain to the screen, shared.Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11384042003998864844noreply@blogger.comBlogger767125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10369407.post-36973636272351059182015-01-24T15:11:00.000-05:002015-01-24T15:11:12.507-05:00Tiny house too tiny for the wardrobe I loveToday I hung up my clean clothes that have been piling up, and I know it'd be nice to live in a space where my clothes don't pile up like this. A tiny house, perhaps?<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjQvDpFJaTUPkvPzkZpTewFbBjfbs0W8vRkoPPnJnCWYXIUNxlVn_ZR-Ag5nTXE6_4zVKY4G7kxfkXZKdTbkeVdetRlRWWUogmaAFGn_VRqO8P9ctC04R2Ww3rAhhJWeIdpqRs9/s1600/10417539_10153121243157009_1087839532919084939_n.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjQvDpFJaTUPkvPzkZpTewFbBjfbs0W8vRkoPPnJnCWYXIUNxlVn_ZR-Ag5nTXE6_4zVKY4G7kxfkXZKdTbkeVdetRlRWWUogmaAFGn_VRqO8P9ctC04R2Ww3rAhhJWeIdpqRs9/s1600/10417539_10153121243157009_1087839532919084939_n.jpg" height="320" width="320" /></a></div>
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I have been obsessing about living in a <a href="http://alyssum.blogspot.com/2011/10/tiny-home-obsession.html" target="_blank">tiny house for several years</a>. A friend pointed out that since most of the realms in which one could set roots or derive stability (financial, romantic, home, health) were all in question this past year (terrible financial situation, no romance til recently, not knowing where I'll end up after my fellowship, surgery last January and recovering from that), that a tiny house represented "just a tiny bit of stability". Totally. A tiny house would allow me to move wherever I end up, I could be self-contained, and it would decrease my financial woes (less/no rent). <br />
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I've looked into it seriously several times. I know some of the <a href="http://boneyardstudios.org/" target="_blank">people in DC that live in tiny houses</a>. I have considered buying an already-built home, or building my own. I have considered the benefits of using <a href="http://www.sips.org/" target="_blank">SIPs</a> versus building walls myself. I know how much it would cost, more or less. I know how I would design my tiny home. I have friends who have offered me their back yard as a parking spot. I've read <a href="http://www.barnesandnoble.com/listing/2670681528629?r=1&kpid=2670681528629&cm_mmc=GooglePLA-_-Book_25To44-_-Q000000633-_-2670681528629" target="_blank">The Big Tiny</a> and met Dee Williams. I watched <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jTCKt4mDNSE" target="_blank">Tiny: A Story about Living Small </a>and met Merete Mueller at the DC Environmental Film Festival last year. <br />
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And yet...<br />
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I asked Merete Mueller, "I would love to live in a tiny house. I have lived on boats and know I could live in a small space, and I would love the financial freedom it would provide, but I'm an artist. Do you know many artists that live in tiny houses? What do they do with their materials?" She very logically replied, "It's not a contest to see who can live in the smallest space. If you are an artist and you have materials that you need to do your work, you could rent a separate work space, but maybe a tiny house is not best for you. Maybe just a small house or apartment works better for you." <br /><br />
And that's what I keep coming back to every time I find myself considering tiny-house-living again. Not only do I have and enjoy all my art materials, but I also have a large wardrobe. Those are the two things I'd have to majorly purge if I did live in a tiny house: art and clothes. Yesterday I watched this youtube video on a woman who explains how and why she has decreased her wardrobe to just 33 pieces. <br />
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<object width="320" height="266" class="BLOGGER-youtube-video" classid="clsid:D27CDB6E-AE6D-11cf-96B8-444553540000" codebase="http://download.macromedia.com/pub/shockwave/cabs/flash/swflash.cab#version=6,0,40,0" data-thumbnail-src="https://ytimg.googleusercontent.com/vi/sLj0_Cmo3PM/0.jpg"><param name="movie" value="https://youtube.googleapis.com/v/sLj0_Cmo3PM&source=uds" /><param name="bgcolor" value="#FFFFFF" /><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true" /><embed width="320" height="266" src="https://youtube.googleapis.com/v/sLj0_Cmo3PM&source=uds" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowfullscreen="true"></embed></object></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgzqaJluW2Dmo2q9ntBouPRl_KFaIqt7s0sgkF3LW7WN4ovtd2i59qtlTmc0ZKrGU6zx1zW17htPXDNx2YS6TnvZ31L4UxUXOC-9DN-cONXUN4EM09eiKxxfSluMDvrVqkSFi7W/s1600/7dd80ec1ad43d5f664aa970f79616ba2.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgzqaJluW2Dmo2q9ntBouPRl_KFaIqt7s0sgkF3LW7WN4ovtd2i59qtlTmc0ZKrGU6zx1zW17htPXDNx2YS6TnvZ31L4UxUXOC-9DN-cONXUN4EM09eiKxxfSluMDvrVqkSFi7W/s1600/7dd80ec1ad43d5f664aa970f79616ba2.jpg" height="320" width="247" /></a></div>
It's inspiring. But... at one point she says, "I decreased my wardrobe so that it wouldn't cause me stress in the morning. If I only have a few options, then I make more time for the things I really enjoy in my life. Most people don't derive a lot of joy from getting dressed." I totally respect that. But, for me, I DO get a lot of joy from dressing myself in the morning. I really enjoy expressing myself creatively through my clothes. I am not stressed in the morning getting dressed. On bad days getting dressed is one of my favorite parts of the day. <br /><br />I have a lot of clothes. I certainly do not NEED this many clothes, and sometimes I let them pile up before putting them away. But to follow William Morris' advice, I find them both useful and beautiful. I regularly purge and I feel good about my usage. So that's that, I guess. For now. Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11384042003998864844noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10369407.post-24875850790141169072014-12-24T14:17:00.000-05:002016-02-17T20:07:30.065-05:00My Ehlers-Danlos Symptoms<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgQBZimpat3Os7J8LxfDRO1nfUPD4LMryAHTqGFZACea5gbeliJMIMh4CDojTD8JcQ_9rtx8KNkHT2iNqRC6zpyHdz3J-1Z61q5jV28fmXf3GPmtfkOddQeQMhE_BDS4ech4FRA/s1600/_SVP7533-Edit.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgQBZimpat3Os7J8LxfDRO1nfUPD4LMryAHTqGFZACea5gbeliJMIMh4CDojTD8JcQ_9rtx8KNkHT2iNqRC6zpyHdz3J-1Z61q5jV28fmXf3GPmtfkOddQeQMhE_BDS4ech4FRA/s1600/_SVP7533-Edit.jpg" width="426" /></a></div>
I once had a friend ask if I had any negative aspects to deal with related to my contortionism. At the time, I couldn't think of any. "Wow," he said, "you're like a superhero! You just get to be super flexible with no negative consequences!" I liked the sound of that....but it turns out I have a whole host of negative symptoms that are seemingly unrelated, but actually due to the same genetic connective tissue disorder that allows me to be so flexible. I was diagnosed with Ehlers-Danlos Syndrome, or EDS, (type III AKA hypermobility type) this past spring by Dr. Levy, a geneticist, at Johns Hopkins. <br />
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EDS is a rare condition, said to afflict 1 in 2500 to 1 in 20000 people. However, it's incredibly underdiagnosed due to its bizarre set of symptoms that don't seem cohesive if you don't know what you're looking for. It is said that up to 30% of the population is hypermobile in some way, and while they probably don't have EDS, they might benefit from learning about how to take care of themselves from the EDS community. In less than a year, I have learned that at least 3 of my friends also have EDS, have learned a ton from them about good resources, and I have helped other friends and acquaintances with hypermobility syndrome or potential EDS learn more about the diagnosis and how to take care of themselves. <br />
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For myself, and for those interested or dealing with EDS themselves, here is a list of my symptoms.</div>
<ul>
<li>Hypermobility (9/9 <a href="http://hypermobility.org/help-advice/hypermobility-syndromes/beighton-score/" target="_blank">beighton score</a>), front-bending contortion</li>
<li>Velvety, soft, stretchy skin</li>
<li><a href="http://www.consultantlive.com/photoclinic/piezogenic-pedal-papules" target="_blank">Piezogenic papules</a></li>
<li>Subluxations (hips mostly, but sometimes shoulders, knees, etc)</li>
<li>Frequent hiccups (spasming phrenic nerve which innervates the diaphragm)</li>
<li>Hyperadrenergic</li>
<ul>
<li>anxiety disorder, panic attacks</li>
<li>vivid dreams</li>
<li>difficulty sleeping long/deeply</li>
<li>easily startled</li>
</ul>
</ul>
<ul>
<li>Endometriosis</li>
<ul>
<li>surgically removed grapefruit-sized & eggplant-sized endometrial cysts Jan 2014</li>
<li>abnormally heavy periods, occasionally extremely painful</li>
<li>anemic (low iron)--possibly/probably related to heavy periods</li>
</ul>
<li>Orthostatic hypotension (I black out when I sit up or stand up too fast because of low blood pressure)</li>
<ul>
<li>up to 30x/day, sometimes not for months</li>
<li>I briefly lose vision, sometimes hearing, occasionally consciousness--once broke my nose falling on my face when I stood up too fast and lost consciousness.</li>
</ul>
<li>Difficulty building muscle mass</li>
<ul>
<li>back muscles randomly fail because holding my body in normal posture takes too much work</li>
<li>pinched nerves occur because muscles aren't strong enough to hold nerves in place. Once lost feeling to my left arm for 6 months.</li>
</ul>
<li>Sometimes non-responsive to lidocaine as a local anesthestic (THAT was an unwelcome surprise!)</li>
<li>Magnesium deficiency (muscle twitches)</li>
<li>Bursitis</li>
<li>Ankles easily turn/ ankle sprains get worse and worse</li>
<li>Knees can no longer comfortably support more than a few miles of bike-riding due to repetitive motion </li>
<li>Kyphosis (or what I like to call duck-butt), (all dance teachers are like, "tuck your tail" and I'm like, "I AM")</li>
<li>Astigmatism, myopia (nearsightedness)</li>
<li>Dry eyes </li>
<li>Crowded teeth (yeah I had a retainer)</li>
<ul>
</ul>
<li>Decreased proprioceptive accuracy AKA I am clumsy because I have a poor sense of where my body is in space. Balance is very difficult for me.</li>
<li>Brain 'fog' (for me, this often manifests as not being able to remember simple words or phrases)</li>
<li>TMJ & bruxism (my jaw almost always hurts and clicks)</li>
<li>Night sweats</li>
<li>Occasionally tachycardic (heart racing)</li>
<li>Urticaria (AKA "hives". mast cells release histamine in response to irritation, or sometimes, nothing really)</li>
<li>Low testosterone</li>
</ul>
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How I deal with these symptoms:</div>
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<ul>
<li>Prescribed anti anxiety medication, birth control pills (for endometriosis), and sleep aid (as necessary)</li>
<li>Supplement with chelated magnesium, ashwagandha and turmeric (to reduce inflammation), iron</li>
<li>Eat a lot of salt</li>
<li>Drink a lot of water (with electrolytes)</li>
<li>Take epsom salt baths as necessary</li>
<li>Limit caffeine intake</li>
<li>Regular low impact exercise (dance, yoga, pilates, swimming, walking, paddling, light biking)</li>
<li>Use athletic tape and braces for extra support</li>
<li>Wear daily contacts or glasses</li>
<li>Wear a mouth guard to sleep</li>
<li>Try to stay patient, relaxed and kind to myself; Meditation and deep breathing really helps</li>
<li>Listen to my body and sleep or rest if I need to</li>
<li>Laugh about it all</li>
</ul>
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<br />Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11384042003998864844noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10369407.post-14004713758214523862014-09-22T10:55:00.004-04:002014-09-22T10:55:57.175-04:00Enhancing Community Engagement<div class="p1">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjTCku8zY8wJfiYSr6yyjOB16c6MtBlEGctRYIu-9RATTithpkJbqUstaroAXLdmjlG9svWeBQS-BdLtHze0tovX6_V3YSiQXJqPcTJ6LmcH1bxbX7doowr1U-jKbVhV-om3jE1/s1600/South_Slough2689.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjTCku8zY8wJfiYSr6yyjOB16c6MtBlEGctRYIu-9RATTithpkJbqUstaroAXLdmjlG9svWeBQS-BdLtHze0tovX6_V3YSiQXJqPcTJ6LmcH1bxbX7doowr1U-jKbVhV-om3jE1/s1600/South_Slough2689.jpg" height="212" width="320" /></a><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br />This is my first foray into making podcasts! Coleman Davis did all the technical editing, Rob Pressly is the host: I have a great team to work with. Craig Cornu from the South Slough Estuarine Research Reserve in Coos County, Oregon is my guest. Let me know what you think! </div>
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<span class="s1"><a href="https://mail.naco.org/owa/redir.aspx?C=mO5oOQFoY02IZY2dHj-7DY_eOL0KqtEIoDKSr--EFLuBhtfhGVdg9w1sP-VfJODys9v7zFxsJPA.&URL=http%3a%2f%2fwww.naco.org%2fprograms%2fCSI%2fLists%2fPosts%2fPost.aspx%3fID%3d164">http://www.naco.org/programs/CSI/Lists/Posts/Post.aspx?ID=164</a></span></div>
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How to access:<br />If you have an iPhone, just click the subscribe to itunes button. If you’re on a computer click, the download button. If you have another podcast player, click the RSS button. Otherwise,<a href="https://mail.naco.org/owa/redir.aspx?C=mO5oOQFoY02IZY2dHj-7DY_eOL0KqtEIoDKSr--EFLuBhtfhGVdg9w1sP-VfJODys9v7zFxsJPA.&URL=http%3a%2f%2fwww.naco.org%2fpodcasts"><span class="s2">www.naco.org/podcasts</span></a> has an embedded player on it, and you can listen there.<br /><br />Image courtesy of <a href="http://www.recreation.gov/marketing.do?goto=acm/Explore_And_More/exploreArticles/Spotlight__South_Slough_National_Estuarine_Research_Reserve__Oregon.htm" target="_blank">here</a>. </div>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11384042003998864844noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10369407.post-83734496005124319642014-09-12T12:33:00.004-04:002014-09-12T12:33:27.689-04:00Creating a top from scratch<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgujGqvzAHJGNDcn97TvXYT4D3eVYRHGAxzQHS0JS13-RwjlAPjmx_OGVSCYCRQjD6fTd3mGvIOpnRAuCSu_Y_LLN6_f9fjSivKy3cvZKbwRVBLPzYJlE2hEN4ubuKDYLDASeAP/s1600/10645106_852120031472692_2320510281727199006_n.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em; text-align: center;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgujGqvzAHJGNDcn97TvXYT4D3eVYRHGAxzQHS0JS13-RwjlAPjmx_OGVSCYCRQjD6fTd3mGvIOpnRAuCSu_Y_LLN6_f9fjSivKy3cvZKbwRVBLPzYJlE2hEN4ubuKDYLDASeAP/s1600/10645106_852120031472692_2320510281727199006_n.jpg" height="426" width="640" /></a>There's nothing like procrastination to get me motivated to finish a project. Or...even start it. I have known I was dancing with <a href="https://www.facebook.com/SalaciousPowderbump?ref=bookmarks" target="_blank">Salacious Powderbump</a> for over 6 months, but I made my top for it just a couple hours before the show. You can do this too. <br />
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I'll walk you through it. What you need:<br />
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<ul>
<li>Model your same size or dress form</li>
<li>Bra in your size</li>
<li>Pretty fabric</li>
<li>Scissors</li>
<li>Pins</li>
<li>Sewing machine (or you could do it by hand)</li>
<li>Sewing marker</li>
</ul>
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1. Put the bra on the dress form, fill the cups with padding to fill them out to your size. <a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEikaPSM6DYfLE5Ltqez_HVNVPo9tgfc4uVLNvc51_UvH9U8OpxnEE0tktX_LvYRrTMo55AYtPbbzXRGXSYmUv_uf3aYqjPTchAcMuVj3C-MKh-khbebyuxY3_6oswZiP2coWwBn/s1600/IMG_4419.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEikaPSM6DYfLE5Ltqez_HVNVPo9tgfc4uVLNvc51_UvH9U8OpxnEE0tktX_LvYRrTMo55AYtPbbzXRGXSYmUv_uf3aYqjPTchAcMuVj3C-MKh-khbebyuxY3_6oswZiP2coWwBn/s1600/IMG_4419.jpg" height="320" width="206" /></a></div>
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2. Drape the fabric over the edge of the bra so that the selvedge (hemmed edge) of the fabric lines up with the bottom of the bra. </div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjlzv15-hHbo1bRTm-N3my8rLgyq_g4m0tdVgtaGbj7mhOL1vtf2P44H26fmFaD8w4wTz84b_r5hiX5Tx8bOosho8CYXJy7AGZIwe9WbiSnLS9HFmAuAVJ5OiZIxENdCVKu2Yz4/s1600/IMG_4421.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><br /></a><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhxRv_W9S92eYvc_fclTtQ6XhBixVSUGv9WFuPwysOKTcFnEtcDs5Mmlk9ZjrZMxZUGFzHkWrmgT_fWTOh59PS8-159kuZ-IMvtZz33rVty5INUZmL7E1eA63xhaGzDUDXC7UQo/s1600/IMG_4420.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhxRv_W9S92eYvc_fclTtQ6XhBixVSUGv9WFuPwysOKTcFnEtcDs5Mmlk9ZjrZMxZUGFzHkWrmgT_fWTOh59PS8-159kuZ-IMvtZz33rVty5INUZmL7E1eA63xhaGzDUDXC7UQo/s1600/IMG_4420.JPG" height="320" width="199" /></a></div>
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3. Pin fabric to bra base. </div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh1eGyjuF-p9jbE5x46k459ejRN0zW5wkZJMHe9cwBPvtsxe09wkkLj7epycahALUxproPsLz0nCCbmrhhHmOhLYZ-oyacCg3wG9Y-k7orosrXVd3IqxsUg3RoUD_whlDRToDaN/s1600/IMG_4428.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em; text-align: center;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh1eGyjuF-p9jbE5x46k459ejRN0zW5wkZJMHe9cwBPvtsxe09wkkLj7epycahALUxproPsLz0nCCbmrhhHmOhLYZ-oyacCg3wG9Y-k7orosrXVd3IqxsUg3RoUD_whlDRToDaN/s1600/IMG_4428.JPG" height="213" width="320" /></a></div>
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4. Drape fabric around neck the way you want it to lay.</div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjlzv15-hHbo1bRTm-N3my8rLgyq_g4m0tdVgtaGbj7mhOL1vtf2P44H26fmFaD8w4wTz84b_r5hiX5Tx8bOosho8CYXJy7AGZIwe9WbiSnLS9HFmAuAVJ5OiZIxENdCVKu2Yz4/s1600/IMG_4421.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em; text-align: center;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjlzv15-hHbo1bRTm-N3my8rLgyq_g4m0tdVgtaGbj7mhOL1vtf2P44H26fmFaD8w4wTz84b_r5hiX5Tx8bOosho8CYXJy7AGZIwe9WbiSnLS9HFmAuAVJ5OiZIxENdCVKu2Yz4/s1600/IMG_4421.JPG" height="320" width="229" /></a></div>
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5. Pin the fabric to itself exactly how it lays, and then pin the top of the bra cups to a bunch of fabric hiding under the gathered/draped fabric (so that this pin doesn't show)</div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh-ZXfRnfWxCG9bB9eYqlG1Ynu6J7YJGbfUiuiaaIkjV91uucRgoeFswC3Qof5qg_yG4i7PQsmIHsdmoaR82lkD9OUATJgRhB4j9BKc1C2E8ejeJ1I226M4gqaMiKUEqfcpk1C2/s1600/IMG_4424.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em; text-align: center;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh-ZXfRnfWxCG9bB9eYqlG1Ynu6J7YJGbfUiuiaaIkjV91uucRgoeFswC3Qof5qg_yG4i7PQsmIHsdmoaR82lkD9OUATJgRhB4j9BKc1C2E8ejeJ1I226M4gqaMiKUEqfcpk1C2/s1600/IMG_4424.JPG" height="282" width="320" /></a></div>
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6. Pin the continuation of the neck-draped fabric to the back of the bra, so that the drape now actually provides support (since it's attached to the top of the bra cups. </div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgibtJHMaVT342pbNeoUNjRHGmmiMYy9BEJB-3byBcSJwZAwreaN75jJXVXbNMlSRZhE_Qa2P0Haupgkn9qJZmkU_A0BmiPuSf99t0IKT5rLhuTQX4OI6vILo80-ssrxBrRNAPO/s1600/IMG_4422.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em; text-align: center;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgibtJHMaVT342pbNeoUNjRHGmmiMYy9BEJB-3byBcSJwZAwreaN75jJXVXbNMlSRZhE_Qa2P0Haupgkn9qJZmkU_A0BmiPuSf99t0IKT5rLhuTQX4OI6vILo80-ssrxBrRNAPO/s1600/IMG_4422.JPG" height="320" width="203" /></a><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhgj49ykb0sIWQjwuw3B9MJnw0sdtnyfAyao7yzuxJ_mGm0283WrBC2dOOVR0Ozb8sixaDr9WQafXugkqQnN8hcIoUoYgxr6_MlWS6jjRAUmT2VrU1P2-tyiiyv2gHNBrHB1NtV/s1600/IMG_4425.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em; text-align: center;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhgj49ykb0sIWQjwuw3B9MJnw0sdtnyfAyao7yzuxJ_mGm0283WrBC2dOOVR0Ozb8sixaDr9WQafXugkqQnN8hcIoUoYgxr6_MlWS6jjRAUmT2VrU1P2-tyiiyv2gHNBrHB1NtV/s1600/IMG_4425.JPG" height="213" width="320" /></a></div>
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7. Draw armholes where they meet up with the dress form's arm holes (with fabric-safe sewing marker)</div>
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8. Unhook the bra, and take it off the dress form. Sew all the pinned places on the sewing machine (or by hand) in the same order that you pinned them. </div>
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9. The extra fabric at the back can be pinned/sewed under the bra band, or left flowing (you'll probably want to hem it), or you can do what I did and leave cut most of it off but leave enough to wrap around the very center of the bra band so that the hooks don't show. </div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEikV_mb7Trxi6f_zYIhiNw9Dtwp4JhhuLx-2kR7fqqR0-ZDRRgfdNuLOAktpCCb4wFRc3ISCG6rlzBVptgtmBwx5EZrsUO5mtesIJq-TN874vcUpYLtXuVFZehyphenhyphenGBhOtXVUYeDi/s1600/IMG_4430.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em; text-align: center;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEikV_mb7Trxi6f_zYIhiNw9Dtwp4JhhuLx-2kR7fqqR0-ZDRRgfdNuLOAktpCCb4wFRc3ISCG6rlzBVptgtmBwx5EZrsUO5mtesIJq-TN874vcUpYLtXuVFZehyphenhyphenGBhOtXVUYeDi/s1600/IMG_4430.JPG" height="320" width="250" /></a></div>
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10. Cut the armholes out. For a finished product, you'll probably want to pin some bias tape around the edges of the arm hole and sew it down, but honestly, I left mine raw, and it's fine for the short term. </div>
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11. Embellish however you like (I used a single chandelier crystal in the center)</div>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiE95jMBg8dJLNr-MYA8TpMozozQqX1_fJh60ItLJcrTsXT0j3LV_TZo7FBhrS-x8DYPkzrlmNUo3NV7JPF_HM9addMQCdr8xHqwrcXsnPXdsFIAeutRQ31kspJ6akmehyphenhypheniggPs/s1600/Diriki+Rice+3.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiE95jMBg8dJLNr-MYA8TpMozozQqX1_fJh60ItLJcrTsXT0j3LV_TZo7FBhrS-x8DYPkzrlmNUo3NV7JPF_HM9addMQCdr8xHqwrcXsnPXdsFIAeutRQ31kspJ6akmehyphenhypheniggPs/s1600/Diriki+Rice+3.jpg" height="425" width="640" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Photo by Diriki Rice</td></tr>
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12. Perform! </div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiIr_x6f3OZYpt0tTWDBXR7DYyy5ffVOBZBclgC0OBlT6r-zO2yx7d7e2LcEoIjL4T73Zxj6gE8swty6hQqSVnNM1bdYAdJczoSLS9lEMevcVHXn3UfSGzzJzrX67-zi23D1-ih/s1600/10653844_852120361472659_1150332643236919508_n.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiIr_x6f3OZYpt0tTWDBXR7DYyy5ffVOBZBclgC0OBlT6r-zO2yx7d7e2LcEoIjL4T73Zxj6gE8swty6hQqSVnNM1bdYAdJczoSLS9lEMevcVHXn3UfSGzzJzrX67-zi23D1-ih/s1600/10653844_852120361472659_1150332643236919508_n.jpg" height="640" width="425" /></a></div>
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Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11384042003998864844noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10369407.post-34009115983224272242014-02-23T12:05:00.000-05:002014-02-23T13:13:23.113-05:006 Weeks Post Surgery<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgTrf73c0A42mB-qhh-vvn0MZiTwK-dGQvvAbhPCtKp-DyHuzDuk4l_BJ_Ma-er7GgY-JeNJJnNnMyFh1w6fKvJFk9z-UEpXEuU2YQnJza4q1N0gPxOkyPdGKPSLOFETa29BvVc/s1600/Photo+on+2-18-14+at+1.58+PM.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgTrf73c0A42mB-qhh-vvn0MZiTwK-dGQvvAbhPCtKp-DyHuzDuk4l_BJ_Ma-er7GgY-JeNJJnNnMyFh1w6fKvJFk9z-UEpXEuU2YQnJza4q1N0gPxOkyPdGKPSLOFETa29BvVc/s1600/Photo+on+2-18-14+at+1.58+PM.jpg" height="266" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">The external incision is just below my pants line, horizontally. <br />
The internal incision is vertical; from my pants line up to my bellybutton. <br />
Blue area = lost skin sensation. Weird.</td></tr>
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I feel as though I should have some very wise insights after 6 weeks of chilling/recovering. But I don't. I do, however, have a lot of random thoughts that have been stifled from sharing with others, simply because I'm not out in the world to share them. Sometimes they burrow a discordant hole in my brain, so here I share them. Some are connected, some are not.<br />
<br />
I usually live my life very productively. I move from one project to another. I take care of myself (good food/exercise), but beyond that self-care is a back-burner issue. These past several weeks, have been quite different in that the focus was 100% on me. Take care of me, get well. Heal. Insights: it was what it was. It had to be.<br />
<br />
I am grateful (so grateful!) to live in a time and place in which the medical attention I have received was possible. But things are not fair. I'm lucky, but not infinitely so. I now have medical bills that I am unable to afford. Nature is not fair. I understood this fully for the first time in the jungles of Nicaragua, where life exists under one ethos: eat or be eaten. This, I believe, is the underlying state of life everywhere, some societies have just become better at painting a slick wash of HighQualityOfLife over it. I have been enjoying watching the BBC's Tudor Farm, which shows the ins and outs of English farmers' lives 500 years ago.<iframe allowfullscreen="" frameborder="0" height="315" src="//www.youtube-nocookie.com/embed/ncqCcPPSS6Q?rel=0" width="560"></iframe><br />
It's fascinating to see how religion coats everything, how religious beliefs further indenture farmers to the church instead of liberating them in any way from it. It's fascinating to see the solutions people used for building, fencing, cooking, heating, travel, trade, and so on, all without electricity or running water. Then, I watched Shadows of Our Forgotten Ancestors, a 1964 film which depicts life in the Carpathian Mountains among the Hutsul in Ukraine. <iframe allowfullscreen="" frameborder="0" height="315" src="//www.youtube-nocookie.com/embed/5GoXMSAMOyg?rel=0" width="420"></iframe><br />
Again, I was fascinated by the way of life, the religiosity, the harshness of life, and how similarly human life looks to the jungle where nothing is fair, and luck plays a greater part of the puzzle than it seems to play in our modern lifestyle in the West. I was struck by the fact that while the medieval Tudors lived 500 years ago, the Hutsul way of life existed as recently as 100 years ago. Two nights ago, I watched As I Lay Dying and it really hit the right chord with me. Not only did this story take place also 100 years ago, but it took place here in this country, in rural, poor Mississippi. Bad luck often begets bad luck, and this is compounded when the people in question are poor. Despite my great social capital (6 years of undergraduate education, 4 years veterinary medical education, 2 years masters degree), I have significant negative financial capital. My student debt to income ratio is 10:1, five times higher than suggested as reasonable. (No, I can't declare bankruptcy on it. Yes, I've consolidated where possible). I am lucky to have health insurance. But I still have bills for this surgery in the thousands, which I simply can't afford. These thoughts swallow me whole sometimes. <br />
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Before surgery, we thought I had 2 ovarian cysts. The surgeon thought she'd have to remove the left one altogether as it was enveloped inside the tumor, but she thought she'd probably be able to salvage some if not all of my right ovary. So, right before my surgery, I told my doctor that if she thought she might have to remove both ovaries to just go ahead and do a hysterectomy too. She asked why, and I said, "well, if I can't have my own kids, I wouldn't want to have the option to have any." During the surgery, they realized I had endometriomas (tumors made of the inner lining of the uterus) instead of ovarian cysts, and the doctor was able to salvage both my ovaries. But, as endometriosis recurrs in ~45% of patients after surgical removal, I now have to choose what type of hormonal preventative treatment I want to be on so I don't have to have surgery again every year. My choices are depo-lupron (puts me into early menopause, decreases bone density), depo-provera shots (birth control, decreases bone density), or birth control pills (which I went off in the first place because I puked every month. Only after I stopped them did I realize I had had suppressed libido for 10+ years. Super sad.) Of course I don't want surgery again, but I also don't want to go on any of these medications. It makes me angry that my surgeon's default goal is to protect my fertility and never even asked me what MY goals were, other than when I brought it up 2 minutes before they put me under anaesthesia. It makes me angry that the way the literature and informational pamphlets talk about the options is very binary: either you are young and want to be fertile, or you're old and dried up and it's time to retire you. I never saw myself represented. What about those of us that are not young but far from old, who never really desired kids but aren't opposed to it, who lean a whole lot closer to not wanting kids even if it means hysterectomy than saving troublesome bits of organs at all costs which might mean we'll have multiple surgeries in the future? It makes me angry that I still have a troublesome uterus when the surgeon was just in there and could have removed it, and the entire issue of my endometriosis with it. It makes me angry that everyone assumes what my position on the subject of MY HEALTH is simply because I'm a female of a certain age. It makes me angry that reproduction is the default goal in an overpopulated world. It makes me angry for feeling the whiplash of this societal default--that I feel sad for never having felt loved for having been a woman with the awesome capability of reproducing. It makes me angry to have been born female at all. <br />
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Once I feel these angers and sadnesses, I come back to knowing, simply, that life isn't fair. And that while no options are good ones, at least I have options? *Sigh* Every time I feel like my life is turning up, I get kicked in the teeth. I keep metaphorically clambering up again to enjoy all I can (because who wants to be miserable all the time!?!), but reality can really be a bitch. No surprise, then, that the first day I had my regular amount of energy, it came attendant with low grade anxiety. The next day, I still had anxiety, and it grew over the course of the day. Why's it gotta be like that? Ben reminded me that post-surgical anxiety and/or depression is common and normal. Great (*sarcasm*). Cue post-surgical anxiety, I guess. I am glad it only lasted 3ish days. <br />
<br />
Today I start work again. I feel well. I think it will be good to be working regularly again. I hope it's motivating and not too overwhelming to jump right back into work. I had just under 6 weeks of recovery time. Solidly 4 weeks of that was spent mostly in bed, brain fogged, exhausted most of the time. During week 5, I started to be more active, but then got sick which knocked me out again for several days. These past several days have been good: I've been more active, have had more responsibility with cooking for myself again etc (HUGE THANK YOUS to all my wonderful family and friends who helped me out with food and entertainment!!!! You are the greatest, and it was really really helpful!). I am looking forward to spending less time on Facebook. I'm on it a lot in general, and generally I find it productive/rewarding. But watching the newsfeed scroll by one status-update at a time for weeks on end is too much. I'm annoyed by the link-bait headlines, the repetitive posts, and how we're preaching to the choir on there. I see a lot of back-patting for thinking the same ways that we think, but I see very little actual action on these issues compared to the number of people posting about them. (Um, but I DO have lots of active, involved friends doing meaningful work creatively, intelligently, socially, which is why I find FB to generally be rewarding, when I'm not just sitting in front of the screen 24/7). <br />
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Okay. Thanks for indulging my rants, and allowing me to get things off my chest. Upward & onward! <br />
<br />
<br />Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11384042003998864844noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10369407.post-28032738950460415952014-02-09T13:42:00.003-05:002014-02-09T13:42:49.687-05:00Donate to Holding You Hostage!Laughing your ass off at us? <br />
Feeling sorry for us because our sense-of-humor-o-meter seems broken?<br />
Whatever the reason you're here, we're glad. <br />
<br />
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Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11384042003998864844noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10369407.post-24659956700781422502013-12-10T16:01:00.000-05:002013-12-10T16:01:40.862-05:00A Night in Waspuko Abajo Nicaragua<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
Between my 1st and 2nd First Year Of Vet School, I spent the summer studying brucellosis and tuberculosis in diary cattle in the buffer zone of the Bosawás Biosphere Reserve in Nicaragua. I was about as remote as you can get north of the Amazon. The following is a story about one of the nights I spent at a house in the jungle. (and some old powerpoint slides)</div>
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******<br />
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="ES-NI" style="mso-ansi-language: ES-NI;"><u>Allegre a
Regressar a Siuna…o Informacion Demasiado.</u><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
My week was filled with getting up at the crack of dawn,
folding my sheets and hammock, eating a breakfast of beans and rice and quehada
(the local cheese that’s sort of like feta, only you have to hope it comes from
a cow that isn’t infected with the diseases I am studying), mounting my horse
and riding all day through mud and rivers, stopping at farms to rope cows, take
some blood from their tail vein and give them a subcutaneous PPD shot to screen
for TB.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>In the afternoon, we would
return home or move our things to the next community, eat lunch or dinner
(beans and rice and quehada again), and sit around, waiting for dark so we
could go to bed.<br />
<br />
<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
----At this point, if you are someone who doesn’t like “too
much information,” this is your warning to quit reading immediately.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It just gets worse.----<br />
<br />
<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
After a week of riding 5 or 10 hours per day, sweating the
entire time, I had developed mad saddle sores.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>All my myriad bug bites got infected from the mud, sweat, and cow shit,
so I had open, red, oozing bumps covering my legs, bikini line and torso.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>One of the houses that we stayed at was in a
community called Waspuko Abajo, and the house was on the top of a little hill,
moated by standing water on 3.5 sides.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>That = mosquito haven.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Worse, at
the top of the hill, directly surrounding the house was moat of muck.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The muck was comprised of equal parts mud,
cow shit, pig shit, chicken and goose shit, trash, dirty dish water, human
piss, dog shit, with an even dusting of
algae and fungus to top it all off.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The
Muck Moat was 20 feet wide and if you fell in, it was shin deep.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>There were strategically placed wood planks
and plantain trunks/leaves for you to take a running start and hop from one to
the next to the house without getting nasty.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Under the house, because it was dry, lived all the animals and the
animals’ fleas and other bugs had direct access to us people through the wide
cracks in the floorboards.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I slept with
my beekeeper’s net on my head, and so my head and neck is the only place
without bug bites.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Sleeping in a hammock
is not the most comfortable thing in the world, but wasn’t terrible.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>There was also a parrot there that whistled
songs and imitated horses whinnying.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We
thought it was great until he also started to imitate the chickens squawking
and the pigs squealing incessantly. <br />
<br />
<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
If you have heard my Sleeping At the Masaai Boma story, this
runs for a very close 2<sup>nd</sup> place in the history of Terrible Nights
Alyssum Has Had.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It started with hours and
hours of the parrot chicken-squawking and pig-squealing before bed.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>After dinner, I had to pee, but was not about
to brave the Muck Moat after dark.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I set
up my hammock, donned my mosquito head-net and climbed in.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Because the family as well as my traveling
companions and myself were all sharing a single room, I slept in my “clean”
pants (my dirty ones that had 2 cm of mud caked from the knee down were outside
hanging to dry a little before the next, the last morning of our week out in
the bush).<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The culture here includes no
concept of “disturbing the peace” and in fact I think silence is somewhat
taboo, so the head of the house had his radio going as we fell asleep, and
Carlos (the vet student with me) had his radio going as well.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>On a different station.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>In the same room.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>So I had to wait for hours before they
finally turned them off.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Then a puppy
started whining from hunger pangs under the house.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Whine,
whine, whine, puppy squeal.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Sounded like
someone was stepping on his tail, except that no one was, and the puppy yelped
and whined for hours on end.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> I felt like the worst human for being annoyed by a starving puppy's crying. </span>Eventually
he quit, and I just started to fall asleep when the pigs started fighting.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It sounded like I lived in the lake from The
Princess Bride with the shrieking eels.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Pigs have the most monstrous, hellish sounding voices, and a chorus of
six of them, directly under you is absolutely blood curdling.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>On it went, pigs, puppy, puppy, pigs, and I
was cursing foully under my breath, “Shut the fuck up!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Goddammit, I can’t sleep!…Stupid fuckers
stop it!…Goddamn puppy!”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>glad for once
my companions couldn’t understand me.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>The thing that puts this as 2nd place, rather than 1<sup>st</sup> with
the Masaai, is that I actually did fall asleep at one point.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Unfortunately, it was only long enough to
have a dream about luxurious shoes (my leather boots were sprouting 80 types of
fungus and mold, and actually the sole fell completely off when I was crossing a river a couple days later), and running to find a bathroom.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>So, yes, at the age of 25, I peed in my bed
(hammock) because of a dream of going to the bathroom.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> I w</span>oke up furious and disgusted, and managed to
take my pants off, find a piece of cloth to wrap around myself, found my
headlamp and braved the Muck Moat to get to the latrine and finish the
job.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Next morning, I<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>was faced with Which Pants To Wear.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>My dirty pants were not only muddy but also
soaked through because it rained in the night, and now my “clean pants” were
wet with my urine.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I put off getting
dressed as long as possible but eventually had to suck it up and put the “clean
pants” on, apologizing to my saddle sores for the insult to injury, and hoping
it wouldn’t get hot enough for the smell to reach the noses of my
companions.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>A few hours later I was checking a cow's tail for evidence of a reaction to the PPD, and--whaddyaknow--she had explosive diarrhea that sprayed me from chest to feet. I thought, “and I was worried about
a little human urine on these pants?!”<br />
<br />
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<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhKlQYS-BPGzGbldIFPCHgAwbHy19e-vj1K3jD10tXLTWXLwqZ62DDiGnKCPxdSlRt_P9C-1lQOBS1AgFK0DZ14moahCKOmhjb9GhUkbL5OG0H3PfSoI98J5ekwOHhPXtt2FQt0/s1600/Slide30b.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhKlQYS-BPGzGbldIFPCHgAwbHy19e-vj1K3jD10tXLTWXLwqZ62DDiGnKCPxdSlRt_P9C-1lQOBS1AgFK0DZ14moahCKOmhjb9GhUkbL5OG0H3PfSoI98J5ekwOHhPXtt2FQt0/s320/Slide30b.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="font-size: 13px;">The Sandanista's colors are black and red. <br />My legs were red with bug bites and black/hairy.</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
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<o:p></o:p><br />
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<div>
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<!--StartFragment-->
<!--EndFragment-->Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11384042003998864844noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10369407.post-39097357528626636602013-11-20T16:11:00.000-05:002013-11-20T16:11:01.568-05:00Finding Inspiration Through Dance<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhMwFVozO8ydsBIULn-IVyShP007sUxrEmGtbm9Igl1El_NRPUzha108sZgpMRCx0yxzj_qOPiNN-zc698nrWMBOa8ObYzlLSMBlWq8W5-6X5zRfzZ4i61opeY6VyeUja7iF9VF/s1600/althea.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhMwFVozO8ydsBIULn-IVyShP007sUxrEmGtbm9Igl1El_NRPUzha108sZgpMRCx0yxzj_qOPiNN-zc698nrWMBOa8ObYzlLSMBlWq8W5-6X5zRfzZ4i61opeY6VyeUja7iF9VF/s400/althea.jpg" width="311" /></a>What a pleasure. <br /><br />This past Saturday night, I attended a modern dance performance by <a href="http://dancethos.org/" target="_blank">Dance Ethos</a> in which my friend Althea Skinner (seen here) was performing. Every time I see a dance performance outside the genre that I participate most actively in (bellydance), I am reminded of the countless dance performances that my parents took me to see as a kid, of the thousands of hours of rehearsal and classes that I have participated in over the years, and how much I appreciate this education and practice. Dance, no matter the genre, is a language that I speak. I understand it, I feel connected to humankind and to my core self when I am engaged with it, either as a dancer or an audience member. I am inspired creatively by others' expression of movement or choreography. And I tend to become overwhelmed emotionally by these experiences, eliciting tears that underscore the magnitude of personal gratitude, and motivation I feel. Despite however pressured I may feel for a sense of balance in my life ("Just say 'No' to more work and activities!"), watching a dance performance inspires me to reach deep in my own dance to manifest the creative ideas I have, including making a difference in the environmental realm through dance ("Don't stop now! You can do more!"). Sometimes I get scared that I will lose the ability to speak this language, or that I will stop making sense in this language, the same way I have forgotten much of my veterinary training since leaving vet school. I want to be taken seriously, and seeing the result of dancers working very hard to accomplish the performance I'm watching motivates me to take my own dance practice very seriously, and to devote more time and effort to it. I don't necessarily need more motivation, but the fact that it's available for the taking is luxurious and makes me feel like I'm living life fully. <br />
<br />
Because I missed Althea's solo piece in the Saturday show, I took the opportunity to see it performed at the Harman Center for the Arts during today's <a href="http://www.shakespearetheatre.org/tickets/happenings.aspx" target="_blank">Happenings, their weekly free lunchtime show</a>. Talk about being overwhelmed. Not only was I watching some really beautiful dance (sight/kinesthetic sense), to some really beautiful music (sound), for free (important to my measly Fellowship income), near work (exercise/biking midday, yay!), but I was also eating simultaneously (autumn-fresh roasted butternut squash with carraway seeds and nuts from the farmer's market--a yummy taste and smell-explosion). My senses were attended to. I was so grateful for that moment. *cue tears*.<br />
<br />
The performance today included several pieces from Saturday's show, as well as a couple from an earlier show that I had seen this summer. I really enjoy the work that Dance Ethos supports and creates. The fabric in Tiffany Haughn's "The Lines We Draw" reminded me of all the possibilities that exist for each of us. Possibility can support and carry us, or it can hold us back and cause tension. Even if we are aware of these issues--they are transparent--that doesn't mean that navigating them is any easier. We struggle or glide through, past, with, in spite of, or linked to possibilities. Althea's piece (choreographed by Vladimir Angelov) was stirring, dynamic, beautiful, thoughtful, curious, and expertly executed. I was struck in her piece and a few others at the use of explosive movement followed by stillness or slow movement. It's a technique that I use less emphatically in my own dance, and it reminded me to go whole hog in that direction.<br />
<br />
I had to leave early to get back to work, but my lunchtime inspiration infusion will last for quite some time. Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11384042003998864844noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10369407.post-34196343916638191432013-10-23T12:09:00.003-04:002013-10-23T12:11:02.243-04:00Toledo's Chronic Urban Flooding<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj-Q0rNJip-25UvaQw__08oNfNuGM73fWsDykenr8GWWbcgR4yHUxOp3zVp2a3sa_ws7l6V35p95eW0C3RHJUYpTcxY09A6hcsXQx2RBofKoiYYTl9rvH6IFaPd3I-C8I98Q1Pv/s1600/34.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="241" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj-Q0rNJip-25UvaQw__08oNfNuGM73fWsDykenr8GWWbcgR4yHUxOp3zVp2a3sa_ws7l6V35p95eW0C3RHJUYpTcxY09A6hcsXQx2RBofKoiYYTl9rvH6IFaPd3I-C8I98Q1Pv/s400/34.JPG" width="400" /></a>One of the projects I have been working on as a Digital Coast Fellow is researching and writing up this mini-<a href="http://greatlakesresilience.org/stories/ohio/toledo%E2%80%99s-chronic-urban-flooding" target="_blank">case study about Toledo's chronic flooding issues</a> for the Great Lakes Planning Guide. Two thoughts about this process:<br />
1. It's really hard to distill such a rich story into just a couple paragraphs!! Research took quite a while, and locating appropriate images that really do help tell the story (with attendant sources and permissions) was a bear of a project in and of itself. <br />
2. Although this is a local story, as part of the Planning Guide, it reminds me that individual stories like this are a part of the whole. Climate change causes more frequent and heavier rainfall in many places, and stories like Toledo's help bring peoples' attention to the importance of mitigating climate change itself by decreasing our individual engagement in carbon-emitting practices, as well as proactive planning and management of infrastructure. I am proud that this is a piece of the repertoire of work that I do. Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11384042003998864844noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10369407.post-10025425037372390962013-10-23T10:44:00.001-04:002013-10-23T10:47:13.039-04:00Naval Observatory Digital Coast presentation and tourMy favorite part of going to present at the Naval Observatory was all the really cool old telescopes and rare books I got to see during the tour we had after my presentation. They were edited out of the <a href="http://www.naco.org/programs/CSI/Lists/Posts/Post.aspx?List=9ca622f9-5581-4376-93e0-edd198e1b8c7&ID=54&Source=%2Fprograms%2FCSI%2Fdefault%2Easpx&Web=6e398872-21fb-41d1-b6c1-cb4b50751509" target="_blank">blog post that I wrote for work</a>, but I'll share them here for you because they're awesome. But, yeah, I got to present Digital Coast to a bunch of Dept of Defense folks. Yippee!<br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: "Calibri","sans-serif"; font-size: 11.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-language: AR-SA; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-bidi; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri; mso-fareast-language: EN-US; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">An
original edition of Copernicus’ book <i>De
revolutionibus orbium coelestium</i> from 1543, in which he describes that
Earth revolves around the sun and not the other way around</span></td></tr>
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<br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhreNZPpZmJEcHw6AzTMARYg8nQkuAwd587IdbxS_Zz2GMtVZa8LCz-mfEJwKkSbjyrOahnxZU7Zl74t4SI96uCVKvd04gTjhXbwLxo9PcwHw_jTc12etrB6iKbOrNrjIYJcHhf/s1600/Img_2565obs.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhreNZPpZmJEcHw6AzTMARYg8nQkuAwd587IdbxS_Zz2GMtVZa8LCz-mfEJwKkSbjyrOahnxZU7Zl74t4SI96uCVKvd04gTjhXbwLxo9PcwHw_jTc12etrB6iKbOrNrjIYJcHhf/s1600/Img_2565obs.jpg" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: "Calibri","sans-serif"; font-size: 11.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-language: AR-SA; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-bidi; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri; mso-fareast-language: EN-US; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">The observatory’s <a href="http://www.usno.navy.mil/USNO/about-us/usno-telescopes">26-inch diameter
refracting telescope</a> from 1873</span></td></tr>
</tbody></table>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11384042003998864844noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10369407.post-799691647089011292013-10-17T10:52:00.002-04:002013-10-17T10:52:31.537-04:00Old Buildings on Stilts<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgIv4Ao3Hf7vcW-_VFDQRae8vZxqyYiYxAslH3hygdyobc1aWLuZqV7ynmCBkfwrBxDkrRRqs8tXXbP3VQ3QseMHFD-K0LDI-0iuJvyQkMYM8DXg1cr50xGRULJ9GFdQQg9bvhJ/s1600/5e7c6586810b11e2829822000a9f1487_7.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgIv4Ao3Hf7vcW-_VFDQRae8vZxqyYiYxAslH3hygdyobc1aWLuZqV7ynmCBkfwrBxDkrRRqs8tXXbP3VQ3QseMHFD-K0LDI-0iuJvyQkMYM8DXg1cr50xGRULJ9GFdQQg9bvhJ/s400/5e7c6586810b11e2829822000a9f1487_7.jpg" width="400" /></a>Back in February of last year, I was riding my bike near Mt. Vernon Square in DC, and I noticed a parking lot that had four old buildings on stilts parked in the lot. I thought it was very strange at the time.<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgEFP53TqtAUVNuCCTvFAcKWyF6okAqA5AQcBthHeIe8rabYndbRgKl3USHgP9zJQDRzZAJ11Hb5y4nzYUfQV3I8edy-nfX8H0eiuxUBzGueRmCmuA_I1hPety1eYV2zbU5u9ss/s1600/IMG_2626.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="266" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgEFP53TqtAUVNuCCTvFAcKWyF6okAqA5AQcBthHeIe8rabYndbRgKl3USHgP9zJQDRzZAJ11Hb5y4nzYUfQV3I8edy-nfX8H0eiuxUBzGueRmCmuA_I1hPety1eYV2zbU5u9ss/s400/IMG_2626.JPG" width="400" /></a><br />
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Since then, what I think is happening is that they are utilizing the structure of these old buildings to build a new, modern building around, so that it maintains a sort of "Main Street, USA" feel. What do you think?<br />
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<br />Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11384042003998864844noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10369407.post-36040410549050490442013-10-13T21:48:00.002-04:002013-10-13T21:51:33.643-04:00Contortionist's Mat for PerformanceWhen I perform contortion, I almost always have a move or two that necessitate my back being hard against the floor. If I have no padding, I end up with a bruised spine. Frown. So, I use a yoga mat to keep me safe. But I have been embarrassed at how unprofessional it looks to have an ugly green yoga mat on a stage. It looks like an ugly green yoga mat, not like the supporting prop of a professional contortionist. <br />
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<tr><td><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi_bPPljvr3qxGGQFlJy6V_5iFLOX1E25ZLR6onxP4hyDkfbzaDia9A16ZpvbaIbfBin8xSixU8zCo4ws0WDZleXzB5Ve-EfSSg5w6Qchh3noPelSYwWaLH5iENy1BZLyjaK5J-/s1600/382515_10151505888785028_890597247_n.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="448" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi_bPPljvr3qxGGQFlJy6V_5iFLOX1E25ZLR6onxP4hyDkfbzaDia9A16ZpvbaIbfBin8xSixU8zCo4ws0WDZleXzB5Ve-EfSSg5w6Qchh3noPelSYwWaLH5iENy1BZLyjaK5J-/s640/382515_10151505888785028_890597247_n.jpg" width="640" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="font-size: 13px;">Right? It'd be such a rad performance photo, but that damn mat just looks janky! Photo by Brian Hoeg</td></tr>
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I have been on the lookout for an answer to my problem for a very, very long time. I found a company that makes circular yoga mats, which is pretty cool, but they're hella expensive, and they also come in bright colors that indicate that it's yoga class time instead of professional gig time. So I was delighted to find a BLACK yoga mat (I thought they just didn't exist!) on clearance at T.J. Maxx the other day! I decided to take matters into my own hands and create what I needed. <br />
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<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjaIZ0QLiToXFR4jLXlOSXMTvKCk7kJisqZlLojI5sTc5FWnM4nGKP_rNr466iuO1HFR7Bk6HXFKdDEwh-Mq9FNGq8NxtUNqoXUO401etsh_qzOmf8Aokv-cPN74IqR9KRkC8kF/s1600/IMG_2728.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="266" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjaIZ0QLiToXFR4jLXlOSXMTvKCk7kJisqZlLojI5sTc5FWnM4nGKP_rNr466iuO1HFR7Bk6HXFKdDEwh-Mq9FNGq8NxtUNqoXUO401etsh_qzOmf8Aokv-cPN74IqR9KRkC8kF/s400/IMG_2728.JPG" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">First I made a compass with a thumbtack, piece of string, and a white marker, <br />
and I created two large and two small semicircles (ignore the mistaken attempts)</td></tr>
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<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhhEb1_YWB5HehS9x3rkymnX6C71A3jI0NZ1SXhpoQ9bRM6IbpzEehAM2f4KcplNNbvU3-1I81ZDV5fpWs-No4R1BFgspZTnZyORgNky3z7GO81Glr14hOeKhJJi0nfHhKgwfCp/s1600/IMG_2729.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="213" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhhEb1_YWB5HehS9x3rkymnX6C71A3jI0NZ1SXhpoQ9bRM6IbpzEehAM2f4KcplNNbvU3-1I81ZDV5fpWs-No4R1BFgspZTnZyORgNky3z7GO81Glr14hOeKhJJi0nfHhKgwfCp/s320/IMG_2729.JPG" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Secondly, I cut them out and made sure the edges met perfectly.<br />
I cut small pieces to support the large pieces (so it could all be glued together). </td></tr>
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<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhETw4PYLhbvNUuK-rlKcC05ua7SMGyZFa0H0XRObJiYTZCkmoaOQtAgLVX68Yiee31qq_XG7wOghWogkxsk3OfmYnXuZpguBqm8rQvOkmmIcULBksSovHGOrGrPXeWgISPo-ww/s1600/IMG_2731.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="266" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhETw4PYLhbvNUuK-rlKcC05ua7SMGyZFa0H0XRObJiYTZCkmoaOQtAgLVX68Yiee31qq_XG7wOghWogkxsk3OfmYnXuZpguBqm8rQvOkmmIcULBksSovHGOrGrPXeWgISPo-ww/s400/IMG_2731.JPG" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Here they are centered and perpendicular to one another. <br />
First I hot glued down the centerline of the large pieces. <br />
Then I glued the centerline of the small pieces. <br />
Finally I glued the small circle to the large circle. </td></tr>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgR5HGVoQXC7ah4eFhrINIjEKLhg4m5lI9-rQxjU9t5UkP0pQYwVQmyuBANOO2aANS_WOByVP9Y5gtWCA-48jtc9rV3OlHhbhFElZHZxoMPFknbE10WZ7G3CYvN7F5vWzPNHAhP/s1600/IMG_2732.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="213" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgR5HGVoQXC7ah4eFhrINIjEKLhg4m5lI9-rQxjU9t5UkP0pQYwVQmyuBANOO2aANS_WOByVP9Y5gtWCA-48jtc9rV3OlHhbhFElZHZxoMPFknbE10WZ7G3CYvN7F5vWzPNHAhP/s320/IMG_2732.JPG" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Okay, it is all stuck together. Maybe I need to iron that edge down?</td></tr>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgbM6kfmqtB8oVPbIA-X2gvAflLYMBuISIRttpiHpFgtDnr8Cpwicl9qDQW1t0BDN_2C5dE8f9kb1Ii6xxmFZECzSj20ClTTbyrP_kaIb2tltUEv340bL-EiH1fZPvGKpC05TKh/s1600/IMG_2746.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="426" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgbM6kfmqtB8oVPbIA-X2gvAflLYMBuISIRttpiHpFgtDnr8Cpwicl9qDQW1t0BDN_2C5dE8f9kb1Ii6xxmFZECzSj20ClTTbyrP_kaIb2tltUEv340bL-EiH1fZPvGKpC05TKh/s640/IMG_2746.JPG" width="640" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Ta-Da! It works!</td></tr>
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Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11384042003998864844noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10369407.post-51856280915213069782013-10-13T21:27:00.003-04:002013-10-13T21:28:10.298-04:00Vintage Brass Corners to the RescueSomeone gave me this wooden box a while back and I like it but was afraid i'd either really hurt someone or something with the corners, or that the corners would chip off. So I found some vintage brass corners to wrap around that will both bolster and smooth-ify the corners. I finally found a flat-head screwdriver small enough to do the work today. <br />
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<br />Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11384042003998864844noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10369407.post-4884643587556807462013-09-20T10:14:00.000-04:002013-09-20T10:14:04.143-04:00Individual's condition expressed through visual sexual signals.This is why people wear make-up, more or less. This seems like a no-doi experiment.<br />
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From Science magazine:<br />
Ecology<br />
Be Honest<br />
Sacha Vignieri<br />
Sexual signals, such as plumage color, are thought to reflect an individual's condition and thus to be a relatively honest indicator of quality to those seeking a mate. The condition of individuals, however, can change over time, leaving one to wonder if such traits only provide honest information about condition at a specific point in the past. Vitousek et al. tested whether signals themselves may influence an individual's condition and thus provide a more accurate indicator of current quality. Specifically, they experimentally darkened the underside of female North American barn swallows and measured indicators of physiological state, such as reactive oxidative metabolites and circulating testosterone. Manipulated birds had consistently lower levels than controls. Naturally darker birds have greater resistance to oxidative stress and reproductively dominate lighter birds. The authors suggest that darkening the birds led to altered social interactions, including fewer challenges and greater mating success. Further, they suggest that the reduced stress experienced by darkened birds left them in better condition, one more reflective of the high-quality trait they displayed. These results suggest that feedback between a signal, its bearer, and recipients may help keep both the signal, and the signaler, honest.<br />
Biol. Lett. 9, 10.1098/rsbl.2013.0539 (2013).Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11384042003998864844noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10369407.post-78265336262311402652013-09-03T13:28:00.000-04:002013-09-03T14:56:56.268-04:00Tribal Fest 13 CritiqueI have never written a critique about an entire dance festival before, but I was sick during Tribal Fest which meant I was at home and had the time to watch every performance video that came out. Well, actually, I got better and had to go back to work half-way through the release of all the videos, so I didn't see them all, but I did watch every video that came out for the first couple days, as they were released, and didn't skip unknown dancers, or rush to watch the famous dancers. I held off on posting this til I could go through them all, but you know what? I've been too busy to actually finish watching them <b>all </b>with the attention that they deserve. So, please recognize that this is a partial critique. As someone who has participated in the tribal fusion dance world for more than 15 years, I feel like one way that I can give back to the community is by voicing my opinions and observations, and hopefully these will be constructive, even if my opinions and observations reflect an incomplete selection of the festival. <span style="font-size: xx-small;">Of course everything herein is my own opinion, and is not meant to offend. Do I even need to say that? </span><br />
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In the keen spirit of building up <span style="font-size: xx-small;">rather than tearing down</span>, I will share a few of my top favorite performances with brief notes on why these particular pieces struck a chord with me, followed by some other notable performances, and general notes for improvement for the community as a whole <span style="font-size: xx-small;">(check in to see whether they might apply to you, and if not, congratulations on </span><span style="font-size: x-small;">a job well done</span><span style="font-size: xx-small;">)</span>. Remember, if you don't see yourself mentioned here, it could be that I haven't seen your performance yet. Much love, Dancers! <br />
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<b><span style="font-size: large;">Top 7 Picks </span><span style="font-size: x-small;">(it was going to be top 10, but this is as far as I got)</span><span style="font-size: large;">:</span></b><br />
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<b>Rin Ajna</b>. I have never seen anyone do a drum solo as anything but a drum solo. Here, Rin expresses "all the emotions dance helps us through". She is, indeed, possessed by bellydance. I clutched my face in recognition of my own experiences, and how aptly she portrays them all. Frenetic but always in control. Amazing.<br />
<iframe allowfullscreen="" frameborder="0" height="315" src="http://www.youtube-nocookie.com/embed/PEhjNmV8LNk?rel=0" width="560"></iframe><br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhI-wp9bL33q798061BrlhGFEw4PutEvn-Ea4kXCzdWMqMNTWbI3OLBrSzh7sN82rEGo8oe_YbwDNRl4Yh_VhiVWJqXbnEXrluNzIlEDEDooLgKJv0rB4FsPMVxQK_4416WDGw4/s1600/13276618-carved-apsara-dancers-in-angkor.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="200" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhI-wp9bL33q798061BrlhGFEw4PutEvn-Ea4kXCzdWMqMNTWbI3OLBrSzh7sN82rEGo8oe_YbwDNRl4Yh_VhiVWJqXbnEXrluNzIlEDEDooLgKJv0rB4FsPMVxQK_4416WDGw4/s200/13276618-carved-apsara-dancers-in-angkor.jpg" width="133" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Apsara dancers in Angkor</td></tr>
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<b>Apsara</b>. These ladies know how to create visual interest, not just through their incredible costumes, but also in their thoughtful tableaus, use of level changes, and body lines fitting of their name "Apsara". Their use of stillness makes it perfectly clear to the audience what aspects of their movement they want you to take home with you. <br />
<iframe allowfullscreen="" frameborder="0" height="315" src="http://www.youtube-nocookie.com/embed/KFC5efnnKvc?rel=0" width="560"></iframe><br />
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<b>Portico</b>. Simple and strong. The Indian styling/mudras comes through loud and clear. The costuming is no-frills, but elegant, attractive, bold, crisp, and streamlined. Simple 'costume change' utilized to mark the switch into bhangra.<br />
<iframe allowfullscreen="" frameborder="0" height="315" src="http://www.youtube-nocookie.com/embed/Ib_SJoYT4K0?rel=0" width="560"></iframe><br />
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<b>Imajaghan</b>. These dancers dance with abandon. And they are able to do so effectively because technique and timing come first. Their simple costumes unite them without distracting from the dance. I particularly love the peeling, cannons that happen after 6:45. <iframe allowfullscreen="" frameborder="0" height="315" src="http://www.youtube-nocookie.com/embed/5y0ZgtQZQFU?rel=0" width="560"></iframe><br />
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<b>Jenna Shear</b>. Each of her movements is danced all the way through the tips of her fingers and toes, and she completely draws you in, which is difficult to do as a solo dancer in that large space. Beautiful classic costume unaffected by current tribal fads, and a simple/effective 'costume change' of removing the mourning mantilla for the second piece. <iframe allowfullscreen="" frameborder="0" height="315" src="http://www.youtube-nocookie.com/embed/4ZzPBw_5GeE?rel=0" width="560"></iframe><br />
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<b>Donna Mejia</b>. "...with ease and flair," indeed. She luxuriates in dance, and we are lucky to share in it as her audience. Her large headdress helps her fit on the stage, but she has the moves to make any costume irrelevant. Start at 5:30 for the dance section. <iframe allowfullscreen="" frameborder="0" height="315" src="http://www.youtube-nocookie.com/embed/5wwXy4no1cU?rel=0" width="560"></iframe><br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjhjjvFMuaA8MC2u_FheQCvgDul_yi5q_zDISK1y36Mgbr5umRHAZECwcMMO9D0GLd7srB9eF9NmOk_G1Ye5nW2LyfvBLR2B9xomHdxBzeacjFOGYvIK1Y49GbldNj5GYNifl-7/s1600/kayapo_boy_3Y5890.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="200" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjhjjvFMuaA8MC2u_FheQCvgDul_yi5q_zDISK1y36Mgbr5umRHAZECwcMMO9D0GLd7srB9eF9NmOk_G1Ye5nW2LyfvBLR2B9xomHdxBzeacjFOGYvIK1Y49GbldNj5GYNifl-7/s200/kayapo_boy_3Y5890.jpg" width="128" /></a><b>Illan</b>. An impressive (!!) and emotive piece reminiscent of Amazonian natives with his red face and chest paint and feather headdress. 1:55-7:00<br />
(Kayapo?). <iframe allowfullscreen="" frameborder="0" height="315" src="http://www.youtube-nocookie.com/embed/jJtaN5it3cQ?rel=0" width="560"></iframe><br />
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<b><span style="font-size: large;">Notable Mentions:</span></b><br />
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<ul>
<li><a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0ohocWAsOlY" target="_blank">Tjarda</a>. She knows how to use her body and costumes like props. She knows exactly the effect she is having on the audience. Always powerful. </li>
<li><a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0PPqQ0rQgpk" target="_blank">Brenna Crowley</a>. Everyone wins with Michael Jackson. She does a good job in this tribute. </li>
<li><a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HoR3w11_V4I" target="_blank">Sepiatonic</a>. It's like they distilled and caricaturized all the crowd pleasers into one piece. </li>
<li><a href="http://youtu.be/RFj6AWZytjo" target="_blank">Skella</a>. You've never seen four swords and two ladies so picturesque.</li>
<li><a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=M9B1TxZmaVw" target="_blank">Qabila</a>. Solid Moroccan shikhat. Nice to see straight up folk dance. And, (I know this might sound backwards, but...) it's nice to see (in contrast to the widespread skin-exposing dancers <span style="font-size: xx-small;">which, of course, is fine too</span>) the über modest shikhat costume. </li>
<li><a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=p9yjOTybWr0" target="_blank">Sassafrass</a>. Hip hop and Etta James fusion, solid costuming, nice use of staging.</li>
<li><a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6Lcg5Tzvr90" target="_blank">Bevin Victoria</a>. Strong pop'n'lock fusion.</li>
<li><a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NzZjcyWx1wM" target="_blank">Persephone Dance Company</a>. Straight up ATS. Bad-ass Turkish drops. </li>
<li><a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KQqI2XpUFYY" target="_blank">Kumuda Tribal Collection</a>. Beautiful ATS styling to non-traditional music choices.</li>
<li><a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZxRAin48Epg" target="_blank">Foxy Cat Alice</a>. Cool peacock styling 1:15-1:45. Plus her white skirt with peacock feathers reminds me of <a href="http://www.stampcommunity.org/topic.asp?TOPIC_ID=16388" target="_blank">miniver</a>. </li>
<li><a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pw6eUqX5z9w" target="_blank">Kendra Katz</a>. Ease in fusing club dancing with bellydance.</li>
<li><a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=fBM2m5v8i6Y" target="_blank">Lisa Hyde</a>. The music she chose perfectly arced with her storyline. </li>
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<b><span style="font-size: large;">General Notes for Improvement:</span></b><br />
<ul>
<li>Flocking/timing could use some work. One thing I got really good at from years of practice in ATS-ish dance is looking at (and interacting with) the audience while using my peripheral vision to track and mimic the exact arc of the lead dancer's armwork, body position, timing. Miniscule (hopefully imperceptible) differences in timing are excusable when the piece is improvised. However, the majority of pieces at Tribal Fest are choreographed. I expect, in these cases, that every dancer in the piece should be counting the timing the same way. AND I expect that dancers will STILL be using their peripheral vision to make sure that their armwork/bodylines are flocking perfectly with those around them, despite the fact that the piece may be choreographed. You should not ever have to look away from the audience and look, instead, directly at the dancers who know what they're doing; use your peripheral vision to check in to make sure you're on track if you need to, change your sightline if that helps, and know the choreography inside out. Drill until it's perfect! Everyone has cameras on their phones these days--use video to see who's arms look different than everyone else's! In short, there is no excuse for sloppy timing. </li>
<li>There is no substitute for good posture, and a strong core. In bellydance, we often don't think of using our core for strength because we generally think about using our core for isolated belly/hip/chest action. But guess what? If the action/attention is in the legs or arms or full body (ie spins), then you should be using that core strength to better improve your balance and lines. In moments when you are using your core muscles for isolated work, then check your posture to make sure your stance is not unnecessarily wide (i.e. unintentionally vulgar).</li>
<li>Limp wrists, please, no more! So many otherwise strong dances lose their impact because the energy fades at the wrists. The dancer may even have lovely hand gestures, but the gestures must be expressed deliberately, and the lines from elbow to fingers shouldn't be broken unless intentionally, if you want me to see a bubble of energy around you all the way from the back of the room. </li>
<li>A few pieces didn't seem to reflect bellydance or folk or tribal fusion elements. Therefore, I did not understand why they were on the Tribal Fest stage. Lack of connection to the already nebulous "tribal" identifiers is super distracting--we (the audience) spend time and energy waiting for the tribal/bellydance/folk influence to show up, which distracts from the gorgeous pieces that you worked so hard to prepare. In some instances, the performers may have been recognized members of this tribal community (yay, we love you!), and, whether you are new to this genre or not, I am all for avant garde expressions of the art form, but when I see nothing recognizable mixed in--neither in the dance, nor in the music/costume choice--the message that comes across is "I am starving for a venue," rather than whatever the actual point of the piece may be. Which is unfortunate. I suppose this bit of critique can be boiled down to "know your audience."</li>
<li>Listen to the music. There is probably a lot more going on than just the phrases of 8 counts. While dancing to the music in sets of eight can afford more space and stillness in your piece (which is something most people can afford to strive for), if you never change it up, the piece becomes boring and predictable. Phrases of eight can not only be broken up into 2 sets of 4 counts, or 4 sets of 2 counts, or eight single counts, but a count of six and two, or 3, 4 and 1, or even hemidemisemiquavers! Listen to the music, and be imaginative with your interpretation. </li>
<li>The face is so expressive, it's a shame to see a blank countenance, especially when the rest of the piece (and your body) is full of emotion. Are you aware of your face when you practice? Practicing your performance face when you practice helps to make sure that under the pressure of getting everything else right, your face isn't the only thing not performing. </li>
<li>I guess there's no denying that dubstep is IN. Though it's not necessarily my 1st choice, I recognize why it inspires and moves people to chose it. But, see here, as a musical genre, it's pretty darn strong. Because of that, it can be used super effectively--but requires equally pretty darn strong dancing or else the music can overshadow your skills. In Swahili, the word for dance is <i>cheza</i>. <i>Cheza</i> is also the word for music. In many cultures, dance and music are inseparable. They should complement one another and be equal in par. Use the strong music to practice to, and practice to, and practice to until you ARE on par with it! And until then, maintain the sense of confidence and power that dubstep (or bagpipes or other Super Intense music) instills you with, but exercise your discretion and self-awareness so that your dance comes across as compellingly as you mean it to. <span style="font-size: xx-small;"> I hope it's clear I mean this as encouragement, to help you </span><span style="font-size: x-small;">shine</span><span style="font-size: xx-small;">. </span></li>
</ul>
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<br />Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11384042003998864844noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10369407.post-67947844302044757662013-09-03T12:50:00.002-04:002013-09-03T12:50:34.138-04:00NACo attends Esri ConferenceThere's a blog post up on the NACo website about the Esri conferences I attended this summer. Click <a href="http://www.naco.org/programs/CSI/Lists/Posts/Post.aspx?ID=45" target="_blank">here</a> to view!Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11384042003998864844noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10369407.post-79641599889034036772013-07-19T13:40:00.000-04:002013-07-19T13:40:37.901-04:00On my love story.These thoughts crowd my head space and I need to get them out so I can sleep better, next time I lay down.<br /><br />My grandparents have a love story worthy of the fairybooks. They met in London after WWII. My grandfather was looking for a pianist to accompany him when he played a Brahms piece on the violin. A mutual friend introduced them, and they went on their first date less than two weeks after their first rehearsal together, and the rest is history. They had 5 boys, emigrated from England to America, adopted another boy and 2 girls at the age of 50, and continue, in their late 80s, to fawn over one another. "Isn't she beautiful!?" "Aren't we lucky!?" "Another day postponing the demise with my darling at my side. 'Tis wonderful." This example of true love serves as a bastion for me. <br /><br />I have often thought a long-lasting love story like theirs is a human experience that few are lucky enough to include in their lives, and really the only sort that makes sense to want to emulate. Knowing, of course, that any relationship will have its own particular quibbles, foibles, and antics, I am not interested in exploring deep love relationships with many people for the sake of exploring deep love relationships with many people. I feel like that's sort of antithetical. The depth comes largely in part from the time that you spend with a person. We are only given a brief stay on this earth, and it is my belief that practicing loving the same person for the majority of it is one of the most likely ways to ensure that your life will be imbued with deep, true love. A worthy endeavor. <br />
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I have only had relationships with a handful of men. I have slept with fewer. My (limited) experience has taught me that my neuro-chemical pathways function healthily--that oxytocin kicks in strong. For me, Sex=Being In Love. Not just "I love that person" as in I care a great deal for them, but full-on deeply in love. Sex is absolutely fun. But I am apparently incapable of having sex "just for fun," or casually, or even without a sense of serious commitment. My heart gets broken if sex is involved and we don't stay together. Because I'm currently single, that means that in my life, 100% of the time, sex leads to a broken heart. I know this correlation is likely not strictly causal, but that's how it feels. <br /><br />I live my life openly. My private domain is almost non-existant. I generally don't speak about the ins and outs of my relationships, not because I mind if people know my business, but because I know that my partner might mind. Sex is the only intimate part of my life that I don't share with the world at large. It is truly intimate for me, and I feel like that holding that space sacred is important. I expect that my partner will share this opinion/ideal. It is soul crushing that the few lucky men who have been with me have known this about me, have tried to fit the bill, and decided that it's not what worked for them after all. Firstly, I'm sad that they weren't self-confident or self-aware enough to know about themselves that they were not built that way. Secondly, and related, it is pitiful that they craved vulnerability and intimacy so much that they were willing to betray their true natures. Finally, it sucks (*understatement*) that they got to enjoy vulnerability and intimacy with me at my cost. <br />
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Disclaimer section: (My blog contains my personal thought process, so forgive me if I indulge a bit in heart-broken-victimization here. This is where not stating the perspectives of my previous partners is a convenient respecting of their privacy. Should they wish to set the record straight or offer their side of the story, they are welcome to do so. When talking about these issues, I find myself asking, "What's wrong with me!?" and my best friends say, "Nothing is wrong with you. Those boys just want to fuck sluts and you're not a slut."...so by writing from the perspective of how <b>I</b> feel, I'm empowering myself and honoring that nothing is wrong with me for feeling the way I do. And by "slut" I assume my friends mean "person who is capable of and enjoys non-committal sex". Yay for the sexual revolution allowing women to join the slutty ranks of men in this world. If I don't judge you for being a slut, please don't judge me for being a prude. Obviously, I'm speaking tongue in cheek.)<br />
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In the past year or so, a guiding question that I ask myself is, "Does this feel healthy?". If I ask, instead, "Does this feel right?" or "Does this feel wrong?", I often get conflicted answers as my heart and mind and gut contradict each other or even themselves. The question "Does this feel healthy?" may have a muddy answer, but generally the answer is more clear, and feels holistic to my entire being (mind, body, soul). A friend recently said they wanted to see me "Strong and happy and healthy." This was a comment that followed seeing me very upset and crying (<b>very</b> upset and sobbing, really, for an extended period of time). One thought I had about that is that I <b>am</b> strong, and my upset did not represent weakness (opposite of strong), but, rather, vulnerability. Being vulnerable feels healthy, if not peachy. I am not interested in avoiding real moments just because they're not hunky-dory. It feels healthy to confront them head-on, and move through the unsavory expressions of emotion that wash through me. It does feel unhealthy, however, to remain in a situation where unsavory emotions tend to be the norm, which is partially why I am not in a relationship currently.<br />
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Upon reflection, much of the unsavory emotions related to my relationships stem from my somewhat obsessive analysis of what each aspect of our interactions mean. I want to know where we both stand at all times, and it's difficult to just "live in the moment" without some assurance that the moment is being invested into a longer-term cache of memories for the two of us. Having a "...to be continued..." feeling is really unsettling/stressful for me. It's not so much that I want(ed) to be married, but that I want(ed) that unsettled feeling to dissipate. Maybe that's what some people mean when they refer to marriage as "settling down"? I had always thought of it as meaning living in a single place, but I suppose it could be more abstract too. In any case, it seems to me that intimate, "living in the moment" and "lighthearted" relationships may be really fun in the short term, but they are also shallow, superficial, ultimately unfulfilling. I love wholeheartedly--you get the lightheartedness (yay!) and the heavyheartedness (sometimes) with me, but it is balanced, real, deep. When it is unbalanced, it takes work to correct, but I believe the work is worth it because the love proves to be deep and fulfilling. I am not interested in investing the best parts of myself in something that will ultimately prove unfulfilling. If I have a partner, I want to share the best parts of life with that partner, someone who reciprocates and also sees every moment, good and bad, as an investment. <br />
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I am single. In general, I'm content and happy about that. I have a lot of love and passion to share, but I am not willing or able to compromise my ideals and constitutional make up in order to be generous in that department. I would rather be single than compromise on this: I only want a partner to enjoy the lightheartedness and fun of a relationship who is also willing to put in the work to get through the frustrations of living with another person. I see my grandparents and know it's worth it. <br />
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Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11384042003998864844noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10369407.post-43160562171443680472013-06-02T23:14:00.001-04:002013-06-02T23:32:25.421-04:00In which I acknowledge my perfectionism<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiGDDguD1b2dV1YCww2fiUtPJ8FWn2LuF_FB9ZM14ZJHsewNoA-yjFdBaVVBckMjlLAqksXEehUUKFyQSoiHBEPVMNUrkuBD7dhOhheFIVA4ry5822qi2qHy_RzIf1xsmmzue2a/s1600/7103ea76cbde11e2adfe22000a1fbd6c_7.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><img border="0" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiGDDguD1b2dV1YCww2fiUtPJ8FWn2LuF_FB9ZM14ZJHsewNoA-yjFdBaVVBckMjlLAqksXEehUUKFyQSoiHBEPVMNUrkuBD7dhOhheFIVA4ry5822qi2qHy_RzIf1xsmmzue2a/s400/7103ea76cbde11e2adfe22000a1fbd6c_7.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Mid despair, I saw this marvelous sliver of a rainbow to knock me out of my circular thoughts.</td></tr>
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I have often befriended folks who are better at (enter X skill here) than I, because I am attracted to their drive and talent. I am inspired by them on some level. Being surrounded by inspiration means that I'm motivated to keep reaching, working on my own skills, which, in turn, usually leads to a sense of progress, self-sufficiency, productivity, and/or satisfaction. In my personal "pursuit of happiness" it is the journey of productivity that generally equals happiness for me. <br />
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There are some similarities across some of my closest friends who share the trait of doing their particular skill at a world class level. For one, they achieved their mastery through dedication, practice, and perseverance. These qualities were often fomented by their perfectionist natures, as were their abilities to hone their practice beyond Really Really Freaking Good (a level infrequently achieved) to Precisely Fucking Amazing (only a few in the world at a time attain this level of excellence). Unfortunately, a side effect of being a perfectionist seems to be almost constant dissatisfaction. And for this reason, my most incredibly talented friends often seem to be some of the most angsty, disquieted people. (Of course, because they're often in the public eye, and because they're perfectionists, they've also crafted a marvelous facade of pleasantness and buoyancy through which they interact with most of the world.)<br />
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The stock I come from are A)workaholics, and B)pretty well satisfied with Good Enough. Generally, that means we're productive, and pretty happy. "Never let perfect be the enemy of good," could be one of the Pohl mottos. We do a lot of good work, but rarely achieve or strive for perfection. This lack of reaching one's potential sort of irked me. At some point, I thought to myself, "What if I look up to my friends and strive for their amazing levels of skill, but am not hard on myself...Will I achieve near perfectionist levels of accomplishment and avoid the malaise?" It made sense in my head. So that's what I've been working on for several years, in several aspects of my life. <br />
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I read about people <a href="http://www.stevepavlina.com/blog/2005/07/how-to-get-from-a-7-to-a-10/" target="_blank">who said things like</a>, "If, on a scale from 1-10, various aspects of your life rank as a bunch of 7's, most people would think, 'Awesome! I'm doing pretty good! Why change anything?' But think how much better it'd be if you had a bunch of 10s!" I drunk the Kool-Aid, so to speak, and have changed many things in my life in order to achieve a higher level satisfaction. My goal was/is to apply myself to all my endeavors with discipline and discernment, while being kind to myself, and it feels great!<br />
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...Until it doesn't. The thought occurred to me a couple months ago during a conversation with a friend, when she suggested that I might actually be a perfectionist despite my careful avoidance attempts. I banished the notion because I didn't really want to entertain the thought that I could be vulnerable to the negative aspects of perfectionism, and I also didn't think I had really achieved anything worthy of perfectionist levels of skill. My friend raised her eyebrows at me as if I had just made her point. By discounting my own skills, I had, in one sense, achieved the central step in perfectionism; to never think anything I do is particularly noteworthy. I hadn't really thought about it that way--for me, most of my pleasure is gained from the journey rather than the destination, so it makes sense that the resulting object/performance/etc is more or less irrelevant, and serves merely as a marker for how to steer my personal evolution for the next iteration. However, what most people see and judge you by is the resulting object/performance/etc...but that's a different tangent. <br />
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Today, I experienced several hours where my personal satisfaction with The Journey was fractured (I was frustrated in a dance class heavy in choreography--my nemesis), and rather than brushing it aside as Just One-A-Dem Days, and laughing off my frustration, which is what I usually do, I felt unable to stem the rushing tide that rose and drowned me in a sea of negative self talk. Hours after the class, I was still wallowing in a general dispair and dissatisfaction with my life. <br />
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Oh no! This is exactly what I wanted to avoid!<br />
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I think most of my life I've been able to put my brain power into my schoolwork, and take a break from my thoughts by working with my body in dance. Now that I'm no longer in school, I have more brainpower to devote to dance, costuming, etc. (I have seen improvements due to this fact.) Today, I figured out why I never liked choreography--it's a mental exercise as well as a physical one. I always sought dance as my escape from mental gymnastics! I liked that it was a physical and intuitive practice with only light forays into mental effort. <br />
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So...what, one frustrating example of applying myself and I become immutably forlorn, a sad victim of perfectionism? Doubly so because the thing that usually brings me happiness is what is causing this despondency? Ugh, please, no. <br />
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Probably the answer is: Keep applying myself, but commit to less productivity. Commit myself to time off doing nothing. Become comfortable with doing nothing because it's no good to do, do, do, and then feel poorly about it. If happiness is dependent on doing, rather than simply being, then I've missed the point. So I suppose I'm admitting I'm a perfectionist, because admission of a problem is the first step in letting go. <br />
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Hah, easier said than done. <br />
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Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11384042003998864844noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10369407.post-19074730441253749622013-05-09T20:48:00.000-04:002013-05-09T20:48:19.173-04:00Friend breakup heartbreakThere are many types of heartbreak: the death of a loved one, the repeated disappointment you feel from questionable actions of a loved one, breaking up with your significant other, when your significant other leaves you... And then, there's the heartbreak that stems from losing a close friend. You thought the two of you were close, and you were enjoying, or wanted to enjoy, continued closeness with this person. But it turns out they aren't interested in that sort of relationship with you any more. Their motivations are dictated by shiny, new experiences, and, frankly, your presence in their lives has ceased to be important or a priority. It's shocking, and yes, heartbreaking. <div>
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I remember the first time I was heartbroken like this. I was in 2nd grade. I went to a Montessori school where 3 grade levels of children shared a classroom. Sarah Shannon, who was a sweet chipmunk-faced 4th grader, and I had befriended one another. We spent every day sitting on our mat, doing our work, and talking about whatever 2nd and 4th graders talk about. I spent the night at her house and felt very grown up being her friend. Then, one day, she didn't want to share a mat with me any more. She wanted to share a mat with Marcie Schenck instead. She invited her to spend the night and didn't even say goodbye to me at the end of the day. I was devastated. </div>
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I spent the evening gathering some peace offerings: two tiny plastic rabbit figurines I had recently gotten for Easter, and tiny vial of rose water, and a die (as in dice). Tiny things were my treasures, and I was going to offer Sarah, not one but BOTH of my newest tiny prized possession bunnies. I hoped that my offering would help her see how much she meant to me, and that she might reconsider, and decide that I could at least join her and Marcie at their mat. </div>
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The next morning, when my mom dropped me off at school, I remember she had to pull over and talk to me because I refused to get out of the car. I sobbed, slumped down all the way in the back seat, miserable. I was so embarrassed to be just a little 2nd grader, whose friendship, I inferred, was not nearly as good as Marcie's 3rd grade friendship. I was so embarrassed that I had pretty much considered a 4th grader my peer. How could I have been so dumb? But also, why didn't she like me any more? I was too embarrassed to get out of the car and walk into my classroom like nothing was wrong, when I knew I'd be sad all day long. Eventually my mom talked me into going into school, walking me in herself, at least 30 minutes late (explaining to the teachers in discrete terms so that they wouldn't draw attention to my predicament, and so I didn't get in trouble for being late). I gave Sarah my little bunny figurines, and I don't think the gift registered at all with her. And that was that. I sucked it up, and had to move on. But it left a scar on my heart.</div>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11384042003998864844noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10369407.post-18731822342571573472013-05-04T11:40:00.000-04:002013-05-04T12:06:31.213-04:00A(n extreme) Day in the LifeYesterday provides a caricature of my life. <br />
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7:30a Leave from my hotel in Charleston, SC, where I spent a couple days for NOAA <a href="http://www.csc.noaa.gov/digitalcoast/" target="_blank">Digital Coast</a> partnership meetings.<br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiYYO1nIXkHt0d3131FPir6bS_Ws4uAug9UDaBF0dSV1bhchNNTxowPPQgNyPR9GJSLFZAD_VtPxItG6wuf3Ir7N1KVx_Sw-NinVynT49gqZDi_ICbIlqR6xSjy-llPESElpAPP/s1600/IMG_9790.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiYYO1nIXkHt0d3131FPir6bS_Ws4uAug9UDaBF0dSV1bhchNNTxowPPQgNyPR9GJSLFZAD_VtPxItG6wuf3Ir7N1KVx_Sw-NinVynT49gqZDi_ICbIlqR6xSjy-llPESElpAPP/s320/IMG_9790.jpg" width="213" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Sage= <br />
grey infrastructure (concrete bridge)<br />
+ <br />
green infrastructure (wetland buffer)</td></tr>
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9a-3p Invigorating meetings and discussion about how to make government more efficient and help policy makers and planners do their job well, basing their decisions about coastal resiliency using data and digital tools. Laura (one of the other Digital Coast fellows) and I presented a project we've been working on, and got some great feedback.<br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgScpr950j-obuHgM8MEBF_2Zh8Z8xLys-QbF-EIGEYsHdgRrwjzipU13AfMD8Ac4q6P2aHTR2CcrgjP7uGtnz__AB-KorTYZvM4yIimHy9PggI3QXBorB3oPrISV0f83MDRnVF/s1600/IMG_9848.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="213" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgScpr950j-obuHgM8MEBF_2Zh8Z8xLys-QbF-EIGEYsHdgRrwjzipU13AfMD8Ac4q6P2aHTR2CcrgjP7uGtnz__AB-KorTYZvM4yIimHy9PggI3QXBorB3oPrISV0f83MDRnVF/s320/IMG_9848.JPG" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Digital Coast partners meeting at NOAA</td></tr>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhyMX1DaaW7ji9_BqJXJ7VDOYd5CHsAB3FXQGyy6kFYXo0xxDLtYVg3Zr-91IYdzeoXpqZtwsnbb1dmTCcLqwGiDdnONy5OBhfRFRa5Z08oAaYDkxAlcHWyIzyjUNw2FczwSPce/s1600/IMG_9852.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhyMX1DaaW7ji9_BqJXJ7VDOYd5CHsAB3FXQGyy6kFYXo0xxDLtYVg3Zr-91IYdzeoXpqZtwsnbb1dmTCcLqwGiDdnONy5OBhfRFRa5Z08oAaYDkxAlcHWyIzyjUNw2FczwSPce/s400/IMG_9852.jpg" width="342" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">It's a fun group to work with; <br />
Cinco de Mayo piñata and landsat imagery discussions.</td></tr>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi3_3pUzX0PKbISuqJF5vevViewXUkgvLqb5r9LKh2-RELj3pcsWZZep-B5cOw9irSIo5rAJMpHI_FWf-wICvw1Nv3pVnAQ7Hsb-zdsWCot4BMlDd__iAg7zI40cMx4FZ0o81vz/s1600/IMG_9859.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi3_3pUzX0PKbISuqJF5vevViewXUkgvLqb5r9LKh2-RELj3pcsWZZep-B5cOw9irSIo5rAJMpHI_FWf-wICvw1Nv3pVnAQ7Hsb-zdsWCot4BMlDd__iAg7zI40cMx4FZ0o81vz/s320/IMG_9859.jpg" width="213" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Notes from presentation and discussion</td></tr>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgnvqkoF1I-Rvghuh5jeo-spEVjVibadaXe4zs_xs_TzH4m2XO-dhjpjIub5TwnD_7nHptrXaRRU2UzE5YdK53_d251FItdaog2bcoQbFVx-KRvD19nGaLVcDT67IawMIfgHqnn/s1600/IMG_9863.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="266" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgnvqkoF1I-Rvghuh5jeo-spEVjVibadaXe4zs_xs_TzH4m2XO-dhjpjIub5TwnD_7nHptrXaRRU2UzE5YdK53_d251FItdaog2bcoQbFVx-KRvD19nGaLVcDT67IawMIfgHqnn/s400/IMG_9863.JPG" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Two NOAA Digital Coast Fellows</td></tr>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi5p9EnC9DHRttKh7K8tPx8FDZtSnkiCB9pzRhzv40t8prQFT0knJYBpCcD0Cf2TbdDvAr8FqTGQU9veDqMj2vyu8Ic73nCgkuypK9k1sbodta6X3fQs0CXlvVm-HS4aT2p0eIW/s1600/IMG_9796.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em; text-align: center;"><br /></a>3p-6p Walk around downtown Charleston with one of my coworkers.<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi5p9EnC9DHRttKh7K8tPx8FDZtSnkiCB9pzRhzv40t8prQFT0knJYBpCcD0Cf2TbdDvAr8FqTGQU9veDqMj2vyu8Ic73nCgkuypK9k1sbodta6X3fQs0CXlvVm-HS4aT2p0eIW/s1600/IMG_9796.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em; text-align: center;"><img border="0" height="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi5p9EnC9DHRttKh7K8tPx8FDZtSnkiCB9pzRhzv40t8prQFT0knJYBpCcD0Cf2TbdDvAr8FqTGQU9veDqMj2vyu8Ic73nCgkuypK9k1sbodta6X3fQs0CXlvVm-HS4aT2p0eIW/s640/IMG_9796.jpg" width="480" /></a><br />
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<tr><td><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiqdPrzp6CZyZWq76fJW6kRkKFiTaGf6xzzvc3z2oja5lPVnkFHLWMKjMePaUJZglDqdzfOhVulwEfT2FVL8_v2lTfZJ3mXBtzeJsCvW6-anns65HV7dkLg7rCPoBbHJT-gl5Jx/s1600/IMG_9802.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiqdPrzp6CZyZWq76fJW6kRkKFiTaGf6xzzvc3z2oja5lPVnkFHLWMKjMePaUJZglDqdzfOhVulwEfT2FVL8_v2lTfZJ3mXBtzeJsCvW6-anns65HV7dkLg7rCPoBbHJT-gl5Jx/s320/IMG_9802.JPG" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="font-size: 13px;">I love this color</td></tr>
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<tr><td><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgUvs39mOgPf-fDYzIs0yC2iljxLSBCmkNWHhO0XRtTG_hBe7QBBf1yEMWCIStQGWjDyagcUgUiT1dciKWTXiUAcn3S8eMSgqPEev2JfQThi8CLOE5qG871eCJCW4dJpzrlsuKA/s1600/IMG_9805.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="300" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgUvs39mOgPf-fDYzIs0yC2iljxLSBCmkNWHhO0XRtTG_hBe7QBBf1yEMWCIStQGWjDyagcUgUiT1dciKWTXiUAcn3S8eMSgqPEev2JfQThi8CLOE5qG871eCJCW4dJpzrlsuKA/s400/IMG_9805.JPG" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="font-size: 13px;">Even the rickety old houses are beautiful</td></tr>
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6p-10:30p Fly back to DC, then rush to the 9:30 Club where my friend Zoe's band, <a href="http://beatsantique.com/" target="_blank">Beats Antique</a>, was playing.<br />
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10:30p-12:30a Enjoy all-access viewing of the show (still in my work clothes, ha ha!). Milled around visiting with dance friends and marveling at how packed the venue was (sold out!), and how cute all the baby bellydancer fans were.<br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="font-size: 13px;"><span style="font-size: small;">Zoe's interpretation of Balinese shadowdance</span></td></tr>
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12:30a-2:00a Dress in a full-body skeleton unitard, don a vulture head mask (through which I could see approximately zero), get on stage and rock out the encore with <a href="http://www.mavibellydance.com/" target="_blank">Mavi</a>, Zoe, David, & Tommy. Oh, and a squid, apparently. (I had no idea until I got these pictures that there was a giant squid! I told you I couldn't see through the mask!). <br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="font-size: 13px;">David rallies the crowd as Mavi and I blindly navigate space.</td></tr>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="font-size: 13px;">I brought her some macarons from a cute little French bakery in Charleston. Yum!</td></tr>
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2a-2:30a Cab home. Cuddle kitties. <br />
<br />Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11384042003998864844noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10369407.post-43966215728783413642013-04-22T17:04:00.000-04:002013-04-22T17:04:28.980-04:0033 and counting<table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: left; margin-right: 1em; text-align: left;"><tbody>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://www.numbersalive.org/" target="_blank">Numbers alive</a>--improving numerical literacy</td></tr>
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I'm 33 and a bit. Since my birthday, I have spent many hours alone at home, went on my first touristy trip in DC (to see the cherry blossoms) one morning <b>before </b>work, read half a novel (first time in forever), visited my friend Victoria up in Phildelphia, pressed through a couple terribly painful days when I was sick, and done a whole bunch of reflection. <br />
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When I got here in DC, I was hustling and bustling, excited about living in a new place, excited to be living alone without having to take care of someone else or worry about another person's day to day issues, excited to have a job I cared about for the first time, excited to have my free time be <i>my </i>time, and <i>free </i>time (no homework!). I have not begun to take these things for granted. However, I have settled in, which means I have become accustomed to these wonderful aspects of my life and have experienced lonely moments, issues arising at work, overbooking my free time, and realize that I still struggle financially. </div>
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Now that I have settled in, I am trying to just enjoy what I have. But I have one eye on the future. What's next? My fellowship is only 2 years long, and I'm 6 months in. I need to start strategizing The Next Move. I know that I'd like to re-establish myself in the conservation world a bit more strongly than where I am currently. Beyond that, all bets are off. I have lots of ideas, and the world is my oyster. </div>
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I spent so long focusing on finishing a graduate degree and finding a job, that I hardly ever considered other long term goals. Now, I find myself free to daydream. I am unencumbered by a relationship, and can do anything anywhere I decide to do it. (That's not to say a relationship is necessarily a hindrance, just that I don't have to consider another person's plans right now). </div>
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Some longer-term possibilities:</div>
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Open a dance/arts/circus studio</div>
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Work on combining my arts and conservation goals</div>
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Stay in Washington</div>
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Move to Boulder or back to California</div>
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Focus on a conservation job internationally somewhere<br />
Move into a tiny home to save on rent</div>
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Start an Alpaca farm</div>
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Go sailing</div>
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Delve more into performance</div>
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Depending on the day, my mood, etc, any and all of these options are super appealing. My life is a question mark right now. And it feels warm and inviting to not know the answer to "What will happen?". My 33rd year is off to a solid start. Lots of experience in store...</div>
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Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11384042003998864844noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10369407.post-28936265598901898412013-04-19T14:19:00.001-04:002013-04-19T14:22:19.843-04:00Beginner's MindI <a href="http://www.meccadance.com/2/post/2013/04/post-from-alyssum.html" target="_blank">guest-blogged for The Dancer's Journal</a>, the blog of Mecca, my home studio in Lexington KY. Take a gander! <br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhZPCFjFmEzAeDjnrEFKQtkvxqyLX4ldzxczylwJYrLYuFbOMjd0EQWvKQGAJY6z_DHU-16_mVa6P6AGxxwA-0rD-pumbex5-GfKkb40NdYn8To79mJ0WNwp8GYlbyIZCL74ZNb/s1600/7917370_orig.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="200" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhZPCFjFmEzAeDjnrEFKQtkvxqyLX4ldzxczylwJYrLYuFbOMjd0EQWvKQGAJY6z_DHU-16_mVa6P6AGxxwA-0rD-pumbex5-GfKkb40NdYn8To79mJ0WNwp8GYlbyIZCL74ZNb/s320/7917370_orig.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Marc Dalessio's Learning Curve</td></tr>
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Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11384042003998864844noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10369407.post-9162099394344212382013-03-22T18:51:00.001-04:002013-03-22T18:51:17.152-04:00Blessed: A DC SalutationSince I arrived in DC, I have appreciated how people here (especially the African American community) say, "have a blessed one" as a good-bye salutation. "Blessed" is pronounced "bless-said," a full two syllables of blessedness. Today, I heard for the first time:<br />
"How you been?" <br />
"I' been blessed." <br />
It was a single syllable this time, but what a great answer to "How you been?" These are small expressions of gratitude and good wishes, but I heartily approve of this sweetness.Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11384042003998864844noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10369407.post-54908630476536298132013-03-22T12:18:00.001-04:002013-03-22T12:18:31.293-04:00Languages 'n' me<br />
English, native<br /><br />
Spanish, proficient, studied since elementary, used in Mexico, Guatemala, & Nicaragua<br />
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Swahili, conversational, learned in Tanzania<br />
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Italian, would be conversational pretty quick, studied in undergrad, used in Sicily<br />
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Gaelic, studied on my own, can sing songs, pick out words, pronounce correctly, picked up in Nova Scotia, tried in Scotland<br />
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Old English, studied in undergrad, can recite a poem, recognize words & parse it a bit<br />
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German, 1st language I tried to teach myself-- too young for proper internalization.<br />
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Still overwhelmed with how awesome people are when they're FLUENT in more than 2 languages.<br />
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11384042003998864844noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10369407.post-703429545213779432013-03-19T15:19:00.001-04:002013-03-19T15:20:03.381-04:00Building energy from withoutToday as I was taking the bus to work, I saw 3 little boys running on the sidewalk, smiling brightly toward school. What makes kids so happy? Perhaps a good portion of their happiness might stem from the sheer overflow of exuberant energy that kids have. I've been so uncharacteristically internal and quiet, not as full of life or smiles as I usually am. I want to bring that verve back, lest I otherwise slip into deep depression. So, I figure, I might be able to bring about some enthusiasm into my life externally (because my internal world lacks it for now). The ways I know how to build energy and put a spring in my step from the external world are:<br />
eat well<br />
sleep well<br />
exercise regularly.<br />
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*Phew* I'm on it. My self instinctively knew to recalibrate before my mind clicked in.<br />
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I spent a solid month not eating much, and making sure I had enough daily calories (and comfort) by filling myself with chocolate. At some point, the caffeine (which I normally don't invite into my system) took over and started wreaking havoc, and I said,'Enough!'...and weaned myself off the chocolate. (Funny how that coincided with finishing eating all the chocolate I had in the house). I've been making myself cook regularly, and started bringing salads to work again. Starting to feel better, and less interested in eating junk food the more nourishment I provide myself. Eating well (or poorly, for that matter) is definitely a positive (or negative, as the case may be) feedback cycle.<br />
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Thank goodness I didn't stop moving during all this negative headspace/heartspace. I dance. And I love going to my handstand classes. I'm building core and upperbody strength week by week. Feels great. I also love working with <a href="http://perceptionaltar.com/" target="_blank">Jeramie Bellmay</a> on some contortion flows every week. All the other dance and movement work I've done in my life has been general. I mean, each genre has specific formats and forms to emulate and recreate. However, when I work on contortion over at Jeramie and <a href="http://www.magicoutsidethebox.com/" target="_blank">David's </a>place, I'm pushing myself in the genre; "How Alyssum's Body Can Bend and Move". It's entirely personal, and it feels amazing to move the way MY body was built. It feels really, solidly <i>good </i>to have a practice in which I explore and hone my personal physical capabilities. Yoga feels similar in the way that it is a personal practice, and is designed to help you break through or push your own personal boundaries. Twenty six years of yoga practice certainly helps with my contortion practice. But it's still different. Contortion practice is<i> just me</i>; it's intensely personal. I leave contortion practice with all my cells awake. I don't know how else to explain it. I also like that this practice is not just a silly-human-tricks "let's see what I can do" sort of practice, but practice in pushing myself in a professional, performance capacity.<br />
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Sleeping well...I could still improve on this. Sometimes I go to bed way too late. Sometimes I go to bed earlyish, but just can't sleep. I've started dreaming again, though, and that's a step in the right direction. For a while there, I was so exhausted when I was awake, that during my sleep, I just turned off completely--no dreams. <br />
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On a tangential note, I saw this link , "<a href="http://successify.net/2012/10/31/22-things-happy-people-do-differently/" target="_blank">22 Things Happy People Do Differently</a>". Generally I consider myself a happy person. I think I almost always do ~18 of these. The other 4 are points I sometimes have to actively remind myself about. One point of clarification on #12, Choose Friends Wisely--which I think I do very well--it's an act of discernment, not of judgement. I think this subtle difference gets a lot of well-meaning people into trouble/confusion. Do you do any of the 22 things particularly well and have your own insight?Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11384042003998864844noreply@blogger.com0