January 8, 2007

The Blues

I forget so quickly why and how much I hate it up here. I can't complain about the weather (except that it means global warming which I can't help but feel guilty for by having complained for the past 2 years). Mainly, I'm just fucking lonely. I have friends here that I've made here at school. And I love them. But it's just not the same as my friends back home. My down-to-earth, intelligent, witty friends back home. Vet students are just not down to earth, we are stress cases at best. It took me a while to realize why I don't like so many of my classmates--none of us are our 'normal selves'. (Myself included!). No wonder I don't like them--some girls' way to deal with stress is to be absolute bitches, some girls deal with stress by complaining continually, and then there are those of us who just become depressed. Ugly.
I'm just lonely. I have cats up here with me, but no boyfriend, no parents or family, no friends that remind me of how I like to live my life 'for real'. All my friends here have only ever known me as a depressed, stressed vet student.

3 comments:

Meena said...

awwww, man! I hope I'm not in that category! I know it's stressful, but there is love for you here. We are lucky to have one another, you and I; it's tough but we can at least rely on each other despite the craziness. There's real people here! I promise!

Percy Trout said...

Those MEAN girls. You gotta watch 'em every second! ;o)

And... I wouldn't worry about not having a boyfriend... doesn't really sound like you have that much time for one.... and relationships are like part-time jobs.

Just git yer fun where you can.... and, I'm sorry yer lonely.

-P

alyssum said...

Well, to be clear, I have a wonderful boyfriend (and wonderful family too) just not up here with me. Everyone's in Kentucky! Ok, ok, Meena, you're right. I do have family up here in the friends I've made ('not all family is blood')...I wrote this when I was feeling downinthedumps.