October 1, 2009

Troll causes Contemplation

An anonymous person left some insulting comments on a blog post of mine from a couple years back yesterday. I immediately assumed it was a troll, and thought "it'd probably be best to ignore this," but decided to comment back, to give the person the benefit of the doubt. True to troll form, I was greeted with another insulting comment. Step one: change comment moderation settings. Step two: I have actually given quite a bit of thought to what this person has accused me of, used it as a reflection/contemplation point about where and who I am in my life. The details of my life left in this person's comment are somewhat creepy, but not crazy--nothing that I haven't put out there for the world to know. This person seems to have a good handle on stalking someone online, but from the sound of it, I don't think it's anyone I've ever met face to face.

I'm glad this comes at this point in my life when I'm more able to look back objectively on the recent past instead of still feeling caught in it. Instead of letting this insulting snafu grind me down further, I am able to look the situation in the eyes, search its soul, and come out on top. I feel really good about my life. I know that I have done my very best in school, and that certain situations that were out of my control conspired to make continuing vet school impossible for me (but not for lack of trying). I know that my intentions in school/travel have always been for the good of others, not for padding my resume or showing off. I am proud that I am continuing with these intentions, despite some major setbacks. Although I do my best to meet people on level ground, I know that I have lived and will continue to live my life in a way that is not completely conventional, and I accept that some people might feel annoyed, threatened, or offended by this. I am willing to listen to any constructive criticism (welcome it!), but strong enough in my convictions to know that spending any more time on non-helpful criticism is wasteful and counter productive to anything meaningful in my life.

************************

I think Ben summed it up nicely. "This sort of thing is hurtful and disheartening. But you know, in your life there are going to be people that hate you, just like there are people in my life that hate me. You just gotta think, 'are they trying to be helpful'? No, they're trying to be mean. So, mission accomplished. They were mean. Next!"

Ever have a similar situation? Did it make you question your life in any way? Were you able to come away from the situation changed for the better or stronger in some way?

2 comments:

K said...

I had a troll once. On a blog I used to write (I'm sure you read it). They became so weird that I hauled out some tracer software, found the guy at a law firm in Chicago and left him a message on his work email saying hello. And you know what? That spineless fuck never contacted me again. Never even visited hte blog, he was so scared. Of course, threatening to forward copies of his racist, sexist comments to all the partners at his firm certainly helped, hehehe.

Say the word, baby. I'll be oppo researching this asshole so fast his fingers will blow up. Working for who I work for has taught me one thing -- do not contemplate people who heedlessly scorn or ridicule you. Don't turn the other cheek. Hit back and rip their head off, shit down their throat.


Love you.

Also, it's possible I'm a little overaggressive right now before my fight. Apologies.

Jack said...

I actually had some (a friend's sister at said friend's wedding) upon finding out I was a philosophy student (as was she) we began to delve into each others areas of interest. The conversation went like this:

Me: "So heard you study philosophy as well. What kind(s) are you interested in?"
Her: "Mostly feminist theory."
Me: "Ah that's cool, a lot of work to be done in that area."
Her: "What about you? What do you study?"
Me: "Metaphysics, particularly the metaphysics of time. The nature, flow, direction, and ultimately reality of it all."
Her: "Oh, so you mentally masturbate all day."

I was so taken aback by her obvious disdain for something I was so passionate about I could do nothing but stand up and walk away from the table. I immediately went to every metaphysics mentor I had and asked them the same question... was what we were doing pointless? The resounding answer though is that, "No" what we do is not pointless it is just misunderstood by some. I have since used that question though to motivate me to higher levels of philosophical thinking. Anyway, I've prepared for the last 6 years or so my retort if we ever meet again. ;-)