I just realized that my mind works in analogies and associations. I am crying with that realization. Partly in relief for figuring it out, but mostly in sadness because that's not how ANY of our classes are taught, and for the loss here of my best tutor, Emily Stuart who taught me about renal physiology in such a way that the electrolytes became personalities, with little brothers tagging along with their big brothers, but sometimes going out on their own. She was here this weekend and helped me with my clinical pathology homework, describing types of fluids as different types of people, and it made so much sense. I am overwhelmed every day with NEW information here. I need connections for it all to come together, I need for the material to be described to me in a way that is allied with something I already know well.
I've had people tell me that I 'live in the past' but I think it's more that I'm connecting to the present by making associations with things I've experienced before--is it the same? is it slightly different? how? I need these comparisons and similarities to make sense of the world around me.
I'm so sad that this is making my studies so difficult, that it annoys people when I constantly talk about the past.....How do other people do it? How do their brains function? What is it that they are able to do that I am not?
[Me and Emily on the Boston Bunny Bar Hop]