scary:
scary:
(what I've been thinking myself about Sarah Palin and what it means about this country)
therefore, get yo schlep on! (very funny Sarah Silverman vid)
September 29, 2008
Time for some Politickin'
scary:
scary:
scary:
(what I've been thinking myself about Sarah Palin and what it means about this country)
therefore, get yo schlep on! (very funny Sarah Silverman vid)
scary:
scary:
(what I've been thinking myself about Sarah Palin and what it means about this country)
therefore, get yo schlep on! (very funny Sarah Silverman vid)
September 28, 2008
The Milk Man Cometh: Pasteur v. Toussaint
an interesting read. when people steal others' ideas and call them their own...
(via McSweeney's).
BY B.R. COHEN
- - - -
THE MILK MAN COMETH: PASTEUR V. TOUSSAINT
It's France. 1881. Sunny day. Tepid, but sunny. You are Pasteur. You are famous. You are the Académie. The Académie is everything. Let's talk anthrax.
Sheep are moneymakers. But anthrax kills them. You've got a theory about that. If anthrax is alive, then you can beat it up. If you made a vaccine, using oxygen to weaken anthrax spores—that's the key, you weaken one version, beat them up; then give that to the sheep; then they don't get the stronger version for real—then you'd be the moneymaker. You have a biological theory, is what we say. You can attenuate live microbes. I don't really know what that means, but you do. You are Pasteur.
Now you are someone else. Someone we've never heard of: Toussaint. You know what? You are not in the Académie, you mustachioed veterinarian. Your chemical theory of anthrax is unimpressive. You think antiseptics will work for attenuation. Which means you disagree with Pasteur. Just dab some carbolic acid—that's an antiseptic, different ball game than oxygen—into the old anthrax; vaccinate the sheep. Since disease is a chemical problem, contra biological, you can sit back and await your invite to the Académie. You're going to the show. You just created the world's first successful artificial anthrax vaccine. Remember, farm animals are everything. The nation, the soul, the air in the croissant. You saved them.
But wait. You are not Pasteur.
Now we're back to the sunny day. And this is Pasteur again. Hippolyte Rossignol has challenged you to prove yourself at his Pouilly-le-Fort farm. You can't make up names like those. This has to be true. He says: you vaccinate my sheep, then a month later we'll give them anthrax, then you'll come back a few days after and we'll see if this works. You agree, aware that this will confirm your greatness.
One problem though—Toussaint. Your lab tests are making you skeptical about the biological theory. You hear this upstart Toussaint got some good numbers with antiseptics, with the chemical theory. Ever toggling between brazen self-confidence (here, the debunker of spontaneous generation; the heater, but not boiler!, of milk) and seething self-awareness (I am who I am, am I not? I know these things to be true, yet if not?), you do what it takes. Staring at the floor, you kick some dust, take a deep breath, and set up the public experiment. No more comme çi comme ça, this is huge.
You take twenty-five sheep. You lead the spectators to believe your vaccine is the fantastic oxygen-attenuated. Remember: that's biological. Milk, fermentation, potato blight, it's all biological. With Hippolyte looking over your shoulder— "we're not so different, you and I" —you inject. Thing is—it's not oxy-atten. It's antiseptic-atten. Oops. You're not using your famous Je suis le Pasteur theory. Thing is, too: not just that you're bailing on your bio-theory and using Toussaint's chem-theory. Also, you took that antiseptic-atten and washed it through mice three times. What does that mean? Means you're on the sly, that things are going on behind the scenes that belie the forthcoming public triumph. But I still don't get it, you confess? Okay, me neither. But there's some kind of deception going on is the important thing. Your milk fame is fun, sure, but how long can it pay the bills? You can digress just this once. It's a detour, this biological shucking. A blip on the screen. You'll win the day. Look in the mirror. Psyche yourself up.
You come back two weeks later. You inject again. Again, using the Toussaint tactic. Two weeks later—inject the real deal, the actual anthrax. Now it's tense. Will they live? Will it work? Pressure cooker, pins and needles, gnawed fingernails. Or so we'd assume. Except you have a guy on the inside, stethoscope to the door, at Pouilly-le-Fort. Things will be fine. The boys at Comptes Rendus will love this stuff. You are Pasteur.
June 2. It's time. Take the train from Paris out to Pouilly-le-Fort. Step off the train to fanfare, actual newspaper reporters, high-school band, international coverage fanfare. Are the sheep alive? Will you still be Pasteur? Will they know you used Toussaint's technique and rigged the trial?
Just tell me this: anyone ever heard of Toussaint? Je suis Pasteur, he says. Je suis indeed.
(via McSweeney's).
BY B.R. COHEN
- - - -
THE MILK MAN COMETH: PASTEUR V. TOUSSAINT
It's France. 1881. Sunny day. Tepid, but sunny. You are Pasteur. You are famous. You are the Académie. The Académie is everything. Let's talk anthrax.
Sheep are moneymakers. But anthrax kills them. You've got a theory about that. If anthrax is alive, then you can beat it up. If you made a vaccine, using oxygen to weaken anthrax spores—that's the key, you weaken one version, beat them up; then give that to the sheep; then they don't get the stronger version for real—then you'd be the moneymaker. You have a biological theory, is what we say. You can attenuate live microbes. I don't really know what that means, but you do. You are Pasteur.
Now you are someone else. Someone we've never heard of: Toussaint. You know what? You are not in the Académie, you mustachioed veterinarian. Your chemical theory of anthrax is unimpressive. You think antiseptics will work for attenuation. Which means you disagree with Pasteur. Just dab some carbolic acid—that's an antiseptic, different ball game than oxygen—into the old anthrax; vaccinate the sheep. Since disease is a chemical problem, contra biological, you can sit back and await your invite to the Académie. You're going to the show. You just created the world's first successful artificial anthrax vaccine. Remember, farm animals are everything. The nation, the soul, the air in the croissant. You saved them.
But wait. You are not Pasteur.
Now we're back to the sunny day. And this is Pasteur again. Hippolyte Rossignol has challenged you to prove yourself at his Pouilly-le-Fort farm. You can't make up names like those. This has to be true. He says: you vaccinate my sheep, then a month later we'll give them anthrax, then you'll come back a few days after and we'll see if this works. You agree, aware that this will confirm your greatness.
One problem though—Toussaint. Your lab tests are making you skeptical about the biological theory. You hear this upstart Toussaint got some good numbers with antiseptics, with the chemical theory. Ever toggling between brazen self-confidence (here, the debunker of spontaneous generation; the heater, but not boiler!, of milk) and seething self-awareness (I am who I am, am I not? I know these things to be true, yet if not?), you do what it takes. Staring at the floor, you kick some dust, take a deep breath, and set up the public experiment. No more comme çi comme ça, this is huge.
You take twenty-five sheep. You lead the spectators to believe your vaccine is the fantastic oxygen-attenuated. Remember: that's biological. Milk, fermentation, potato blight, it's all biological. With Hippolyte looking over your shoulder— "we're not so different, you and I" —you inject. Thing is—it's not oxy-atten. It's antiseptic-atten. Oops. You're not using your famous Je suis le Pasteur theory. Thing is, too: not just that you're bailing on your bio-theory and using Toussaint's chem-theory. Also, you took that antiseptic-atten and washed it through mice three times. What does that mean? Means you're on the sly, that things are going on behind the scenes that belie the forthcoming public triumph. But I still don't get it, you confess? Okay, me neither. But there's some kind of deception going on is the important thing. Your milk fame is fun, sure, but how long can it pay the bills? You can digress just this once. It's a detour, this biological shucking. A blip on the screen. You'll win the day. Look in the mirror. Psyche yourself up.
You come back two weeks later. You inject again. Again, using the Toussaint tactic. Two weeks later—inject the real deal, the actual anthrax. Now it's tense. Will they live? Will it work? Pressure cooker, pins and needles, gnawed fingernails. Or so we'd assume. Except you have a guy on the inside, stethoscope to the door, at Pouilly-le-Fort. Things will be fine. The boys at Comptes Rendus will love this stuff. You are Pasteur.
June 2. It's time. Take the train from Paris out to Pouilly-le-Fort. Step off the train to fanfare, actual newspaper reporters, high-school band, international coverage fanfare. Are the sheep alive? Will you still be Pasteur? Will they know you used Toussaint's technique and rigged the trial?
Just tell me this: anyone ever heard of Toussaint? Je suis Pasteur, he says. Je suis indeed.
September 24, 2008
Mozert Underwater
Bruce Mozert pioneered underwater photography.
In 1938, he was the only person in the world who had a waterproof camera.
Mozert stopped in Silver Springs, Florida, on his way to Miami. He never left.
He built a waterproof housing for his camera and for the next 45 years photographed amazing underwater scenes in the clear waters of Silver Springs.
link to the life aquatic in smithsonian.com
September 17, 2008
Naimes F'r Yer Kieds
My friend Tiffanie and her husband Troy are expecting a new member of their family as of today! So I dedicate this post to the soon-to-be new member of the human race. I'm sure they have names already picked out...but just in case:
When I moved out to Powell County in 1993, the first thing I did was read the phone book cover to cover (no joke). It's not such a big deal, though, since it's only 1 cm thick (maybe less, including white and yellow pages). I was fascinated with the names I found therein. I copied down all the interesting names, and names that seemed to be so much more common out there than in Lexington, and then carefully organized the names into a long list of names that I labelled with the locally phonetic heading "naimes f'r yer kieds: whut ta naim yer chald ifya leive in eastirn KY". Since then (I was only 13), I've met several of these people (like my best friend in high school, Kaelan, 's dad, Ovie), and heard many of these names used in other places besides Powell County. Still, there's something almost tangible about the way people tend toward certain names in certain places. Like how all the people in the Irish band, Solas, are all named the most Irish names ever (Donal, Seamus Egan, Mick McAuley, Dierdre Scanlan)... but I digress. I hope Tiffanie will appreciate this list as the sort of entertaining but loving list that I meant it to be. (if you're from Powell Co yourself, maybe you recognize someone's name...do tell who they are!) (Also: Anyone who knows me will tell you that I love accents, and that I was trying to perfect the accent here, not make fun of it.)
Here's what I wrote.
THE "E"s
Edmon, Elza, Enies, Eulice, Elmo, Elbie, Elby, Eva, Edna, Edwin, Edith, Ed, Eula, Elma, Eldon, Elden, Euell, Elson, Erman, Elroy, Earlena, Easter, Esther, Edgial, Eula, Earlist, Etha, Eck, Elihue, Erna, Elcaney.
THE "O"s
Orban, Ozenia, Oma, Ola, Oza, Ovie, Ora, Onice, Otha, Odra, Onesia, Odean, Ova, Orvial, Oveda, Orpha.
THE GIRL NAMES--the baest gurl names ar wuns thet aend ian the "een" saound.
Charlene, Magelene, Irene, Geraldene, Lorene, Darlene, Arlene, Norene, Marlene, Illene, Roylene, Muarine, Correne, Jeweldene, Lurline.
DOUBLE NAMES
Asa Darryl, Willie Joe, Jimmy Ray, Phyllis Jo, Barney Ray, Jerry Pete, Roe Birschel, Letha Gladys, Rosa Slick, Goldie Irene, Billy Edwin, Sybil Miss, Virgil Ben, Nolie Leon, Edith Irene, Ida Mae, Allie Frances, James Ed, Eula Mae, Eva Mae, Lloyd Edward, Amon Zane, Virgil Lee, Louey Rose, Marcella Crickett, Bulah Mae, Willard Geraldine, Lana Gale, Sammy Joe, Ollnie Lige, Rusti-Lea, Angela Dawn, Erna Sue, La Faye, Wilma Jean, Ila Mae, Lina Marie.
BOY NAMES--the baest boey naimes er the whuns thet aend ian the "oid" saound er the "urt" saound.
Voyd, Floyd, Lloyd, Boyd, Gloyd, Rupert, Delbert, Birt, Hybert, Hubert, Hobert, Cebert.
PLACE NAMES--sum peipole naim ther kieds aafter plaices.
Cleveland, Dallis, Dallas, Housten, Letcher, Grandville, Granville, Menifee, Hardin, Irville, India, French, Berlin, Geneva, Venice.
MISCELLANEOUS--
Vernia, Dorvin, Loftis, Karron, Carles, Beulah, Alta, Ada, Berta, Mildred, Carletta, Sudie, Vernest, Rhoda, Maynard, Hazel, Dee, Kellye, Truman, Gathal, Gathel, Merritt, Delisa, Rondall, Rondle, Canas, Delphia, Vollie, Willa, Bethel, mallie, Doil, Kermit, Luanna, Glenda, Arretta, Cashus, Glenna, Dellmus, Roxie, Aland, Noga, Linville, Hager, Dewey, Janise, Cordise, Fronie, Golden, Hershell, Talmadge, Patsy, Amos, Verlena, Ivory, Vinson, Ambrose, Verlon, Cohath, Grider, Lula, Hoyt, Mahala, Manuil, Sreldie, Dixie, Clemmie, Rufford, Tressie, Roe, Scoby, Squire, Viola, Hi, Lois, Kess, Zelma, Ryno, Jewel, Jewell, Gertrude, Alby, Reva, Carton, Corwin, Dellie, Langley, Lottie, Louvirna, Stephania, Strother, Treva, Verlin, Trulan, Alson, Cela, Little, Jarka, Chalmer, Alvie, Arkill, Zelphia, Reda, Cleatis, Freg, Imeagean, Winfred, Garner, Dinzel, Denzil, Densel, Densil, Carma, Lydna, Haydon, Valeria, Tilman, Kirby, Hillard, Vada, Duwain, Louretta, Landon, Algin, Luana, Lemon, Rexford, Roydel, Syl, Winford, Thurl, Waltes, Inza, Arlis, Audney, Lavonna, Herley, Caney, Coe, Aneta, Harles, Milford, Rena, Mose, Zelpha, Dovie, Virda, Sterlin, Garland, Soney, Tavana, Lenora, Arlie, Melda, Fannie, Linville, Wardie, Velma, Goble, Noble, Ambara, Lenwall, Bascum, Hercel, Walsh, Zrondra, Lona, Seldon, Coy, Vina, Shelton, Biram, Norval, Sherdon, Dallie, Adron, Carmie, Ina, Tonia, Shadwick, Wilford, Lorelei, Mara, Shade, Larna, Marvella, Paty, Methyl, Gardie, Aster, Demia, Dorstle, Corbitt, Wyona, Letha, Rossa, Alvia, Herndon, Clarita, Luaza, Higgins, Dorvin, Bascom, Addly, Lamer, Kip, Mina, Lnita, Jerald, Lanny, Delois, Verlin, Gladys, Karmit, Mildred, Millard, Harley, Wilgus, Beckham, Bronson, Lenial, Inez, Verna, Delno, Glyn, Ila.
When I moved out to Powell County in 1993, the first thing I did was read the phone book cover to cover (no joke). It's not such a big deal, though, since it's only 1 cm thick (maybe less, including white and yellow pages). I was fascinated with the names I found therein. I copied down all the interesting names, and names that seemed to be so much more common out there than in Lexington, and then carefully organized the names into a long list of names that I labelled with the locally phonetic heading "naimes f'r yer kieds: whut ta naim yer chald ifya leive in eastirn KY". Since then (I was only 13), I've met several of these people (like my best friend in high school, Kaelan, 's dad, Ovie), and heard many of these names used in other places besides Powell County. Still, there's something almost tangible about the way people tend toward certain names in certain places. Like how all the people in the Irish band, Solas, are all named the most Irish names ever (Donal, Seamus Egan, Mick McAuley, Dierdre Scanlan)... but I digress. I hope Tiffanie will appreciate this list as the sort of entertaining but loving list that I meant it to be. (if you're from Powell Co yourself, maybe you recognize someone's name...do tell who they are!) (Also: Anyone who knows me will tell you that I love accents, and that I was trying to perfect the accent here, not make fun of it.)
Here's what I wrote.
THE "E"s
Edmon, Elza, Enies, Eulice, Elmo, Elbie, Elby, Eva, Edna, Edwin, Edith, Ed, Eula, Elma, Eldon, Elden, Euell, Elson, Erman, Elroy, Earlena, Easter, Esther, Edgial, Eula, Earlist, Etha, Eck, Elihue, Erna, Elcaney.
THE "O"s
Orban, Ozenia, Oma, Ola, Oza, Ovie, Ora, Onice, Otha, Odra, Onesia, Odean, Ova, Orvial, Oveda, Orpha.
THE GIRL NAMES--the baest gurl names ar wuns thet aend ian the "een" saound.
Charlene, Magelene, Irene, Geraldene, Lorene, Darlene, Arlene, Norene, Marlene, Illene, Roylene, Muarine, Correne, Jeweldene, Lurline.
DOUBLE NAMES
Asa Darryl, Willie Joe, Jimmy Ray, Phyllis Jo, Barney Ray, Jerry Pete, Roe Birschel, Letha Gladys, Rosa Slick, Goldie Irene, Billy Edwin, Sybil Miss, Virgil Ben, Nolie Leon, Edith Irene, Ida Mae, Allie Frances, James Ed, Eula Mae, Eva Mae, Lloyd Edward, Amon Zane, Virgil Lee, Louey Rose, Marcella Crickett, Bulah Mae, Willard Geraldine, Lana Gale, Sammy Joe, Ollnie Lige, Rusti-Lea, Angela Dawn, Erna Sue, La Faye, Wilma Jean, Ila Mae, Lina Marie.
BOY NAMES--the baest boey naimes er the whuns thet aend ian the "oid" saound er the "urt" saound.
Voyd, Floyd, Lloyd, Boyd, Gloyd, Rupert, Delbert, Birt, Hybert, Hubert, Hobert, Cebert.
PLACE NAMES--sum peipole naim ther kieds aafter plaices.
Cleveland, Dallis, Dallas, Housten, Letcher, Grandville, Granville, Menifee, Hardin, Irville, India, French, Berlin, Geneva, Venice.
MISCELLANEOUS--
Vernia, Dorvin, Loftis, Karron, Carles, Beulah, Alta, Ada, Berta, Mildred, Carletta, Sudie, Vernest, Rhoda, Maynard, Hazel, Dee, Kellye, Truman, Gathal, Gathel, Merritt, Delisa, Rondall, Rondle, Canas, Delphia, Vollie, Willa, Bethel, mallie, Doil, Kermit, Luanna, Glenda, Arretta, Cashus, Glenna, Dellmus, Roxie, Aland, Noga, Linville, Hager, Dewey, Janise, Cordise, Fronie, Golden, Hershell, Talmadge, Patsy, Amos, Verlena, Ivory, Vinson, Ambrose, Verlon, Cohath, Grider, Lula, Hoyt, Mahala, Manuil, Sreldie, Dixie, Clemmie, Rufford, Tressie, Roe, Scoby, Squire, Viola, Hi, Lois, Kess, Zelma, Ryno, Jewel, Jewell, Gertrude, Alby, Reva, Carton, Corwin, Dellie, Langley, Lottie, Louvirna, Stephania, Strother, Treva, Verlin, Trulan, Alson, Cela, Little, Jarka, Chalmer, Alvie, Arkill, Zelphia, Reda, Cleatis, Freg, Imeagean, Winfred, Garner, Dinzel, Denzil, Densel, Densil, Carma, Lydna, Haydon, Valeria, Tilman, Kirby, Hillard, Vada, Duwain, Louretta, Landon, Algin, Luana, Lemon, Rexford, Roydel, Syl, Winford, Thurl, Waltes, Inza, Arlis, Audney, Lavonna, Herley, Caney, Coe, Aneta, Harles, Milford, Rena, Mose, Zelpha, Dovie, Virda, Sterlin, Garland, Soney, Tavana, Lenora, Arlie, Melda, Fannie, Linville, Wardie, Velma, Goble, Noble, Ambara, Lenwall, Bascum, Hercel, Walsh, Zrondra, Lona, Seldon, Coy, Vina, Shelton, Biram, Norval, Sherdon, Dallie, Adron, Carmie, Ina, Tonia, Shadwick, Wilford, Lorelei, Mara, Shade, Larna, Marvella, Paty, Methyl, Gardie, Aster, Demia, Dorstle, Corbitt, Wyona, Letha, Rossa, Alvia, Herndon, Clarita, Luaza, Higgins, Dorvin, Bascom, Addly, Lamer, Kip, Mina, Lnita, Jerald, Lanny, Delois, Verlin, Gladys, Karmit, Mildred, Millard, Harley, Wilgus, Beckham, Bronson, Lenial, Inez, Verna, Delno, Glyn, Ila.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)